Bricklayer
Don't Make Me Use The Bat
Well, after a night in which I clearly favored the women out there by posting sexy pictures of Greg Ostertag, tonight I feel like I have to do something for the guys to make up for it. Normally that would involve either explosions, or girls. Unfortunately I think its too early for me to sneak in another Pretty Girls theme, and sweet natured innocent that I am I would hate to be seen as promoting violence. Accordingly I am going to take another tact, and so guys, tonight the theme is:
Jane Austen for Dummies
Seriously. As the 1 male in 1000 in possession of this arcane knowledge, I would be remiss in not trying to pass it on in some fashion to my fellow man, for most of whom the very name is either terrifying, mystifying, or both. So pay attention guys -- many secrets of all those things you don't understand about the female of the species are buried herein.
Artest ( A- ) -- in the early going was slowed by one of the few guys who can handle him one on one in Kirlineko, but was displaying the full array of defensive skill on the other end, banging with the Jazz's big musclemen down in the post as well as guarding the Jazz's smaller musclemen out on the perimeter. Was hitting his FTs tonight, and began to get a little freer to do some things after AK47 first went to the bench and then had to guard Salmons after returning. Pattern repeated in the second half -- in the third struggled a bit against the freaky length of the lanky Russian, but with AK47 occupied elsewhere, the Jazz could not guard him down the stretch. Threw in some good battling down inside on the glass, and again led us in assists as the most important creator for us on offense. Been a huge start for Ron this year, throwing even more confusion into the difficult keep him/pay him meag contract/lose him as free agent/lose him to nuttiness/win too many games etc. etc. questions. One thing, Ron quit bleeping flexing when you do something good. Reminds me of that moronic head knocking the Clippers morons used to do, and frankly if somebody did something like that while I was on the court I would knock him on his *** the next time down the floor.
Aunt Jane -- ok, a brief primer guys. The legendary Jane Austen lived about 200 years ago, and wrote her books in what is termed the Regency period in England in the early decades of the 19th century. She only completed six books, 4 in her lifetime, and two published after she died young (in her early 40s). And yet here we are 200 years later, with her name looming as one of the most famous authors of all time. And Jane, often accused of being a romance novelist (indeed she largely invented the romantic comedy) is not only considered perhaps the inventor of that genre, but also perhaps the first modern English novelist, one of the first of the British realists, one of the primary proto-feminists, and contrary to the sweet and syrupy image of her associated with the romance industry, a wickedly sharp and hilarious social critic who sliced and diced the social conventions and patriarchy of her day with a piercing intellect. In other words scary stuff if you are a man.
Moore ( B ) -- ack, started off the game looking like the old bad Mikki again, fumbling balls, getting shots knocked away, having rebounds ripped away, etc. Closed the first half strongly though, having some balls come to him on the glass and letting Ron set him up on offense. Was solid in the second half, still doing a few things including dropping in a hook over Boozer in the post, and cleaning up garbage. Was not rebounding though, and saw Reggie go to a variety of other people at the position for stretches, including even...Kenny Thomas! Ack!
Pride and Prejudice -- and I will lead off here with perhaps Jane's most famous work, and one that has had a greater effect on the lives of the men still reading this than they might ever have conceived. The romantic comedy you got dragged to last week? Invented right here baby (and actually made sense in its original setting -- one of the reason so many modern rom coms are ridiculous is they try to slavishly imitate a formula which depends on class consciousness and miscommunication in an era when such things are far more unlikely with social mobility, telephones, email, text messaging etc.). Tall dark handsome and conventently rich? Bingo (the name is Mr. Darcy btw, and far more women have dreamed of him than have ever dreamed of you). And last but not least, Cosmopolitan's constant advice to women to abuse the hell out of men and play hard to get as method of getting their guy? Yep, you guessed it. And while you may never have heard of her, the story's heroine, Elizabeth Bennet, is one of the most famous, and most ardently admired of all female protagonists. Smart, sassy, feisty, pretty, but not as beautiful as her older sister, she gets the man of every woman's dreams in the end by beating the living tar out of him until he has no choice but to fall in love with her and sweep her away to his uber mansion to live happily ever after. And so that is what you have to measure up against -- you are competing with Mr. Darcy whether you know it or not. Other highlights of the book include an absolute guide of how NOT to propose to a woman unless you want her to slap you, some of the most hilarious letters ever committed to print, and an all time favorite character, the wonderfully droll Mr. Bennet (Lizzy's father) as the prototype henpecked husband/father of five daughters.
Miller ( B+ ) -- strong start in there against an even softer player in Memo. Was on the glass, and played a strong solid first half keeping us clicking on offense and givin us some presence on the interior. Did not do as much after half, and there were stretches there where you forgot he was out there. Was willingly banging around with Boozer and pals though, which showed him more ready for this type of game than was Hawes, who got pushed around. Made me oh so happy by continuing to show the kid how a real center plays the game though by bombing away from the three point line.
Pride & Prejudice (movie) -- and so onto the recent movie version of the above book. This was extremely well done. although not strictly faithful to the book. Jane Austen purists will note with some pride that she wrote "on a very small canvass", meaning that her books were really quite demure. None of the sweeping romaticism of the Bronte sisters (think Wuthering Heights etc.), but careful, nuanced character studies set in very similar settings amongst the landed gentry and lower nobility of her time. It was what she knew. Well this movie says screw that, and pumps Jane's book up steroids. Its beautifully shot, funny, very passionate (think men on black horses charging through the night, heroines on cliffs with the wind blowing through their haair etc.), and features a star-making Oscar nominated turn by Keira Knightly proving that she is a major actress, not just an action star. She is all dark flashing eyes and trouble spelled with a capital T. If you are going to see one of these, this might be the one. Note the irony that the biggest critics of this Jane Austen movie were often not manly men worried that it would emasculate them, but the ninnies over at the Jane Austen Society (yes there is such an thing) still breathing heavily over an earlier 6 hour miniseries version of the story in the 90's that featured Colin Firth in a wet T-shirt contest (and no, that was not in the book either). As I'm pretty sure that no male, including this one, has ever sat through a 6 hour Jane Austen miniseries, my suggestion for proving your sensitivity to your wife/girl is the relatively painless 2 hour running time of this one. Note as well that this same story has been adapted again and again in recent years, set in Bollywood, amongst mormons in Utah, and in the completely testosterone proof Bridget Jones series.
Martin ( B+ ) -- decent start, killed by Brewer in the early going, but the game settled down and Kevin started doing what he does...which is to say go to the line. Again and again and again. More on the refs at the end of these grades. In any case, drew foul after foul, got several continuations, and was scoring well on a night when Ron was as well, which is a novel combination. Wasn't much beyond the points, but all the fouls were piling up and causing problems for the Jazz. Had 25 points by the end of the third when disaster maybe struck -- did not see where it happened, but all of a sudden Kevin pulled up lame on the secodn to last play of the quarter. he hobbled around until the end of the period, but was then taken to the lockerroom and diagnosed with a pulled groin apparently. And that's an injury that can really linger and just take forever to come back from. Always a chance to reinjure it too.
Sense and Sensibility -- and so we go off to Austen book #2, the other "and" novel. This one was not a huge favorite with me, and I think had as a central theme something very iimportant to Jane and her time, but not so much now. It features perhaps Jane's deepest exploration of the messed up circumstances women at the time had to live in -- at the time property was very frequently bestowed upon the eldest male in a family, even an extended family (often via a nasty legal device called a fee tail that is strongly disfavored or flat out outlawed in most jusridictions today). And the result was that the women in a family were often completely out of luck, and could be quickly reduced to poverty if they could not find a nice, rich, man to marry them. Hence the great "romantic" Jane Austen, often, as in this story, looks right through the romance to the pure practical effects of marriage -- a home, financial security, a future. Note that Jane herself never married and died a poor old spinster. In any case, its a major theme here, as is the obscure difference between "sense" (i.e. intelligence, groundedness) vs. sensibility (exactly the hyper-romantic overwrought I will kill myself for love stuff that jane had no time for), that at least for me did not really resonate, although at the time it was written Jane was criticizing other women's tendency toward hyped up "sensibility" in her books as much as she was attacking the patriarchy.
Jane Austen for Dummies
Seriously. As the 1 male in 1000 in possession of this arcane knowledge, I would be remiss in not trying to pass it on in some fashion to my fellow man, for most of whom the very name is either terrifying, mystifying, or both. So pay attention guys -- many secrets of all those things you don't understand about the female of the species are buried herein.
Artest ( A- ) -- in the early going was slowed by one of the few guys who can handle him one on one in Kirlineko, but was displaying the full array of defensive skill on the other end, banging with the Jazz's big musclemen down in the post as well as guarding the Jazz's smaller musclemen out on the perimeter. Was hitting his FTs tonight, and began to get a little freer to do some things after AK47 first went to the bench and then had to guard Salmons after returning. Pattern repeated in the second half -- in the third struggled a bit against the freaky length of the lanky Russian, but with AK47 occupied elsewhere, the Jazz could not guard him down the stretch. Threw in some good battling down inside on the glass, and again led us in assists as the most important creator for us on offense. Been a huge start for Ron this year, throwing even more confusion into the difficult keep him/pay him meag contract/lose him as free agent/lose him to nuttiness/win too many games etc. etc. questions. One thing, Ron quit bleeping flexing when you do something good. Reminds me of that moronic head knocking the Clippers morons used to do, and frankly if somebody did something like that while I was on the court I would knock him on his *** the next time down the floor.
Aunt Jane -- ok, a brief primer guys. The legendary Jane Austen lived about 200 years ago, and wrote her books in what is termed the Regency period in England in the early decades of the 19th century. She only completed six books, 4 in her lifetime, and two published after she died young (in her early 40s). And yet here we are 200 years later, with her name looming as one of the most famous authors of all time. And Jane, often accused of being a romance novelist (indeed she largely invented the romantic comedy) is not only considered perhaps the inventor of that genre, but also perhaps the first modern English novelist, one of the first of the British realists, one of the primary proto-feminists, and contrary to the sweet and syrupy image of her associated with the romance industry, a wickedly sharp and hilarious social critic who sliced and diced the social conventions and patriarchy of her day with a piercing intellect. In other words scary stuff if you are a man.
Moore ( B ) -- ack, started off the game looking like the old bad Mikki again, fumbling balls, getting shots knocked away, having rebounds ripped away, etc. Closed the first half strongly though, having some balls come to him on the glass and letting Ron set him up on offense. Was solid in the second half, still doing a few things including dropping in a hook over Boozer in the post, and cleaning up garbage. Was not rebounding though, and saw Reggie go to a variety of other people at the position for stretches, including even...Kenny Thomas! Ack!
Pride and Prejudice -- and I will lead off here with perhaps Jane's most famous work, and one that has had a greater effect on the lives of the men still reading this than they might ever have conceived. The romantic comedy you got dragged to last week? Invented right here baby (and actually made sense in its original setting -- one of the reason so many modern rom coms are ridiculous is they try to slavishly imitate a formula which depends on class consciousness and miscommunication in an era when such things are far more unlikely with social mobility, telephones, email, text messaging etc.). Tall dark handsome and conventently rich? Bingo (the name is Mr. Darcy btw, and far more women have dreamed of him than have ever dreamed of you). And last but not least, Cosmopolitan's constant advice to women to abuse the hell out of men and play hard to get as method of getting their guy? Yep, you guessed it. And while you may never have heard of her, the story's heroine, Elizabeth Bennet, is one of the most famous, and most ardently admired of all female protagonists. Smart, sassy, feisty, pretty, but not as beautiful as her older sister, she gets the man of every woman's dreams in the end by beating the living tar out of him until he has no choice but to fall in love with her and sweep her away to his uber mansion to live happily ever after. And so that is what you have to measure up against -- you are competing with Mr. Darcy whether you know it or not. Other highlights of the book include an absolute guide of how NOT to propose to a woman unless you want her to slap you, some of the most hilarious letters ever committed to print, and an all time favorite character, the wonderfully droll Mr. Bennet (Lizzy's father) as the prototype henpecked husband/father of five daughters.
Miller ( B+ ) -- strong start in there against an even softer player in Memo. Was on the glass, and played a strong solid first half keeping us clicking on offense and givin us some presence on the interior. Did not do as much after half, and there were stretches there where you forgot he was out there. Was willingly banging around with Boozer and pals though, which showed him more ready for this type of game than was Hawes, who got pushed around. Made me oh so happy by continuing to show the kid how a real center plays the game though by bombing away from the three point line.
Pride & Prejudice (movie) -- and so onto the recent movie version of the above book. This was extremely well done. although not strictly faithful to the book. Jane Austen purists will note with some pride that she wrote "on a very small canvass", meaning that her books were really quite demure. None of the sweeping romaticism of the Bronte sisters (think Wuthering Heights etc.), but careful, nuanced character studies set in very similar settings amongst the landed gentry and lower nobility of her time. It was what she knew. Well this movie says screw that, and pumps Jane's book up steroids. Its beautifully shot, funny, very passionate (think men on black horses charging through the night, heroines on cliffs with the wind blowing through their haair etc.), and features a star-making Oscar nominated turn by Keira Knightly proving that she is a major actress, not just an action star. She is all dark flashing eyes and trouble spelled with a capital T. If you are going to see one of these, this might be the one. Note the irony that the biggest critics of this Jane Austen movie were often not manly men worried that it would emasculate them, but the ninnies over at the Jane Austen Society (yes there is such an thing) still breathing heavily over an earlier 6 hour miniseries version of the story in the 90's that featured Colin Firth in a wet T-shirt contest (and no, that was not in the book either). As I'm pretty sure that no male, including this one, has ever sat through a 6 hour Jane Austen miniseries, my suggestion for proving your sensitivity to your wife/girl is the relatively painless 2 hour running time of this one. Note as well that this same story has been adapted again and again in recent years, set in Bollywood, amongst mormons in Utah, and in the completely testosterone proof Bridget Jones series.
Martin ( B+ ) -- decent start, killed by Brewer in the early going, but the game settled down and Kevin started doing what he does...which is to say go to the line. Again and again and again. More on the refs at the end of these grades. In any case, drew foul after foul, got several continuations, and was scoring well on a night when Ron was as well, which is a novel combination. Wasn't much beyond the points, but all the fouls were piling up and causing problems for the Jazz. Had 25 points by the end of the third when disaster maybe struck -- did not see where it happened, but all of a sudden Kevin pulled up lame on the secodn to last play of the quarter. he hobbled around until the end of the period, but was then taken to the lockerroom and diagnosed with a pulled groin apparently. And that's an injury that can really linger and just take forever to come back from. Always a chance to reinjure it too.
Sense and Sensibility -- and so we go off to Austen book #2, the other "and" novel. This one was not a huge favorite with me, and I think had as a central theme something very iimportant to Jane and her time, but not so much now. It features perhaps Jane's deepest exploration of the messed up circumstances women at the time had to live in -- at the time property was very frequently bestowed upon the eldest male in a family, even an extended family (often via a nasty legal device called a fee tail that is strongly disfavored or flat out outlawed in most jusridictions today). And the result was that the women in a family were often completely out of luck, and could be quickly reduced to poverty if they could not find a nice, rich, man to marry them. Hence the great "romantic" Jane Austen, often, as in this story, looks right through the romance to the pure practical effects of marriage -- a home, financial security, a future. Note that Jane herself never married and died a poor old spinster. In any case, its a major theme here, as is the obscure difference between "sense" (i.e. intelligence, groundedness) vs. sensibility (exactly the hyper-romantic overwrought I will kill myself for love stuff that jane had no time for), that at least for me did not really resonate, although at the time it was written Jane was criticizing other women's tendency toward hyped up "sensibility" in her books as much as she was attacking the patriarchy.
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