Lyrical Art

BobbyJ_for3!

BobbyJ_for3!

Bench
I don't know if this is exactly the right place, or even a good idea but...

I'm somewhat of a poet/songwriter, and I like to share my works/creations/whatever. I thought this would be a cool place to do such, for me and anyone else, if there is anyone else.

Hopefully its a good idea. Or at least okay :).
 
This may end up being the first, last, and only posting of poetry, depending on if there already is another thread or what, but still...

Something I've recently been working on, bit by bit, each night:

The Hunted

The hunted entered the room and the smell hit him like a fist to the face,
He had many memories of there that he could not easily replace.
The cobwebs spread across the hall reminded him of then,
He hated the sensation of being chased by a thousand men.
Run all he wanted, he could only sprint in place,
Like the tortoise and the hair, it wasn't a fair race.

The examination mystified when the dogs came crashing through,
Luckily, the ninjas honed reflexes bid the pups adieu.
As the hunters caught up with the hunted,
The hunted moaned, groaned, and grunted.
"There is no chance of me passing out of existence this day",
The hunted danced and twirled until the hunters became the prey

That evening, the hunted gave it his all.
Whether he would eventually fly or fall.
For he had much to prove.
And very little to lose.
 
Gracias, LondonKing. Your wish shall be granted.

This time I picked something a little longer, half intended as a song, and without a deffinite name. Help me out with the last part? And perhaps critique overall?

either
"Summer of Hurt"
or
"And The Tornado Ripped Through The Burning Summer Sky"

"He woke up this morning, got out of bed
Started his routine without a thought in his head
The phone was stoic and he followed suit
Planned out his whole day but that idea was moot
Instead he took a trip down memory lane
His mission was simple, erase the pain
All that he had needed was a shot of the truth
But he got a root canal for a healthy tooth

Live and regret, forgive and forget
Live and forget, forgive and regret

Remorse... something that needs to be felt more often
Sorrow... even hard hearts will eventually soften
Of course... under any circumstance there is a penalty
Although... committing a right never makes me guilty

He held it in during a summer of hurt
He took it in stride but still felt like dirt
Knowing he didn't nearly deserve it
Made him know he couldn't quit
Every time he tried to switch back
They made him feel like having a heart attack
Sometimes there aren't any options to use
All he could do was lose

Why are people such hypocrites?
His dad was an *******, his mom's a b*tch
They say he is changing inside
But within them, the shift resides
He swore he would never treat his kids this way
And that promise kept him going day after long day
If only he could teach others like him to know
That they didn't need to make the same mistakes, woah

Live and regret, forgive and forget
Live and forget, forgive and regret

Remorse... something that needs to be felt more often
Sorrow... even hard hearts will eventually soften
Of course... under any circumstance there is a penalty
Although... committing a right never makes me guilty

Everyday he dealt with it by picking up his 12-string
And writing a sad love song, even though he couldn't sing
He poured his feelings into every letter and word
He didn't care if any one else found them absurd
People try and try and can't seem to break free
These people just need a chance to see
They can fight through the winds of negativity
And escape the tornado of pain and debris

Remorse... something that needs to be felt more often
Sorrow... even hard hearts will eventually soften
Of course... under any circumstance there is a penalty
Although... committing a right never makes me guilty

Anyone living in his shoes knows how it felt
It was like being left in the sun to melt
Cause those caught up in the tornado of pain
Should know that one day they too can be sane
The lesson learned here is some kids are screwed
But that doesn't mean their lives should conclude
What they require is the want to be superior
Treat their kids with respect, not as inferiors"
 
Only thoughts I have heard so far about the title have been to go with Summer Of Hurt...I guess the other one is just me being odd and loving longer, more intense titles (ie I Liked You Better Before You Were Naked On The Internet, Good To Know All I Have To Do To Get Attention Is Die, and I Believe You But My Tommy Gun Don't) :D

Thank you mucho grande LK for the suggestions, remarks, praise...I can see why it is semi-rap style, I know it is and I hope to elimate that with some sweet guitar and amaznig drums (as in some rock music).

I guess I shall post more...:

My Drug

"Wake up in the morning
A kiss already on my lips
Get up and take a shower
A voice tells me to get a grip
Hot water runnin' down my body
Tryin' to remember last night
I was quite high on love
And oh, it felt so right

Smokin', smokin
I can't get enough

The kiss of death can kill
The kiss of love can be worse still
The kiss of death can kill
In the form of shot or pill
Where's my heroin?

Going through my day
Taking breaks every now and then
Get my fill with no delay
And then I do it again
Each night I come home
A new experience ahead of me
I wouldn't stop it for the world
Because it means the world to me

Smokin', smokin
I can't get enough

The kiss of death can kill
The kiss of love can be worse still
The kiss of death can kill
In the form of shot or pill
Where's my heroin?

Smokin', smokin...

(solo)

While I have all but good things to say
The fights, the fits, the everyday life
There are times when it's hard to stand
But it's all worth it, I've found my wife

I can't get enough...

She's my drug, her name is Jill
When we kiss I get chills
I love her, I love the thrill
Even if she's a jagged little pill
Where's my heroine
She's my heroine
She's my drug
She's my heroine
My drug..."
 
Another lyrical portrait, this dedicated to 9/11:

SHADOW(Submit a new title if you'd like.)

"In the zone, away from home
Losing my mind all in good time
Look around, there is no sound
But the beat in your heart
That's where it all starts
And when it ends
We can't just pretend
Pretend it never happened

Until the wall will shatter
Until the rest won't matter

We can only hope and try to cope
We can't just sit here in fear
(We've got to take action)
Surrounding us
Surrounding us
Surrounding us in shadow

Fight or flight
Choose or lose
Wrong or right
Accept or refuse
All the choices
All the voices
Selected correctly
Affected directly

Until the wall will shatter
Until the rest won't matter

We can only hope and try to cope
We can't just sit here in fear
(We've got to take action)
Surrounding us
Surrounding us
Surrounding us in shadow

Always remember
Never surrender
Don't surrender to the shadow

Stand at the end of the earth
Restricted and lost of mirth
Live to see another day
Learn to breathe another way
Today had promise
Sorry you saw this
Learn to breathe another way
So sorry you saw this

Until the wall will shatter
Until the rest won't matter

We can only hope and try to cope
We can't just sit here in fear
(We've got to take action)
Surrounding us
Surrounding us
Surrounding us in shadow

Always remember
Never surrender
Don't surrender to the shadow

(Take action)
Surrounding us
Surrounding us
Surrounding us in shadow

Surrounded by shadow
(We've got to take action) [[[simultaneous, repeat]]]

We're surrounded..."
 
the media

here's a "go" at it. this was pieces of my 5 page essay I wrote in my morality class.


By excessive consumption of these "blasts of destructions"
We can be drawn by the media, to react and disfunction.
We can fight back our temptations,
Or be disgraced by the nations.
I'd rather follow my heart,
I'd rather start a new nation.

They try to think for our minds and take control of our bodies,
Such as the cat and the kid, you know them, Calvin and Hobbes,
I wanna take it all back, I'll just shut up and react.
I'm a prisoner too. Constricting thoughts and my acts.
 
I like it Freak. Aren't you rebelious, forming your own nation :P

My anally critical self screams at me to point out that it might make more sense to say "with disfunction".....I guess that self beat up the subtler, less conflict part of me :)

I love the Calvin & Hobbes reference. They rule!
 
bobby, can you please explain "my drug".....I'm having a hard time following
 
SOMEONE ELSE POST! This was deffinetly not a thread created for just me, I almost feel bad for posting so much...I do enjoy showing my works though.

Feel free to post a gagillion poems. Well, okay, not nearly that many, but don't be afraid. What if Kurt Cobain had been afraid? or John Lennon? :D

Untitled

"Being so alone
But wanting to stay.
Feeling far away
In this early-morning gray.
I am so prone
To the dangers ahead.
On this abandoned road,
I'm about to tread.

I was living yet waiting to die.
Now I'm lost and craving to fly.

Broken down and missing in Tennessee.
Without obligation or responsibility.
Caught up but not trying to flee.
So lost and somehow so free.

Losing my obligation,
Forgetting any responsibility.
I'm exiting the station,
But wishing for the sea.
Holding fast to this sensation,
Yet clearing away the debris.
Can't figure out a combination,
Of what is and what used to be.

I was living yet waiting to die.
Now I'm lost and craving to fly.

Broken down and missing in Tennessee.
Without obligation or responsibility.
Caught up but not trying to flee.
So lost and somehow so free.

(Being so alone, and wanting to stay.
Feeling far away, in this early-morning gray.)

My life is now sitting,
Alone in the lost and found.
It will eventually,
Turn up and I'll be homebound.
I went from found to lost.
I've gone from wrong to right.
Gas draining from the exhaust.
But I can drive all night.

I was living yet waiting to die
Now I'm lost and craving to fly

Broken down and found back home in Cali
Without new obligations and responsibility
No longer caught up nor trying to flee
Oh so fulfilled and feeling so free, so free, so free"

(contimplated titles: Lost Yet Found, I No Longer Wish I Had Died In The Crash, So Far From Home, The Ear Player, The Car Of Freedom, and Rolling With The Punches)
 
The whole premise, or at least from my point of view as the writer, was to lead the listener/reader to believe I was talking about an addiction to a drug
{{{[a)I have never done any drugs of any kind b)I do not advocate drugs. In fact, its the opposite...*may sound corny* Don't do drugs kids! They are very very bad!]}}}. I think it would work better as a song, because "heroine" would sound the same both ways...but yeah. Anyways, I tried to incorporate the general feelings that are supposedly felt with drugs but could also be said of relationships. For example:

"Wake up in the morning
A kiss already on my lips
Get up and take a shower
A voice tells me to get a grip"

The kiss can mean two different things (I'm not gonna explain them for bad material purposes, sorry again kids + VF)
The voice could either be the "heroine" talking, saying get a grip for whatever reason, or a voice heard because the drug user is...not exactly on planet earth.

Obviously, the reader's view of the song is really what the song means, but that was the best example I could give to try to explain it.

If you want me to explain for every line, just for laughs, I can PM that to you TSA (or anyone else of appropirate age).
 
The smoking, smoking line doesn't seem to fit with the heroine part. if it said shooting, shooting..........................anyways, i understood what you were getting at.
 
thesanityannex said:
The smoking, smoking line doesn't seem to fit with the heroine part. if it said shooting, shooting..........................anyways, i understood what you were getting at.
Click to expand...

My thought process might be outdated or stupid but...it was that the chick is hot/smoking hot so....yeah.
 
YAY!...*does happy dance*

Okay, I'm done...

I know it may seem a minor accomplishment, but I entered The Hunted on poetry.com a month or so ago and I just got a letter asking to publish it and have it be a semi-finalist for a $1000 prize. I feel pretty good about that :D.
 
^^ great new Bobby.

I have little doubt that you will have more success in the future. IMHO your poems / lyrics show a great deal of talent and ability....well i enjoy reading them anyway!! ;) :D
 
My attempt at sharing lighter stuff:

Start of a song about football:

"Don’t leave life on the bench
Don't die waiting on the sidelines
Get out there and play
Without penalty or delay

Twenty-two men on a weekend night
Thousands of people in town
Sixty minutes of fight
Ten yards to a first down
Three and out goal-line stand
Just two more guys to pass
Hearing the opposing band
Just ran into a tuba bass"

Something I wrote after an amazing one night experience with someone I met on that night and havn't seen since:
Either 'Tonight' or 'Out Of This World'

"Was tonight real?
Cause it felt surreal
We had things in common
We made a connection
Now I miss you so much it hurts
My body and my heart, it burns
Can I live without you for so long?
If not, at least I will have written you this song

Tonight must have been a dream
We make such an awesome team
I just wish this moment would never end
But tomorrow always has to be around the bend

As I drive home
My mind roams
I don't know how I will live
Living so far away
I just can't believe
That I could feel this way
I feel out of this world

Tonight must have been a dream
We make such an awesome team
I just wish this moment would never end
But tomorrow always has to be around the bend

I'm happy when I'm with you
I'm cool when I'm with you
I'm funny when I'm with you
I'm sweet when I'm with you
I want tonight to last forever when I'm with you
And it's because you are awesome as you

Now I miss you so much it hurts
My body and my heart, it burns
Can I live without you for so long?
If not, at least I will have written you this song

I feel out of this world ((when I'm with you))
I feel out of this world ((when I'm with you))
I feel out of this world ((when I'm with you))

I feel out of this world"

Another semi-corny-ish poem about that night, or that girl...very overexagerated on the love thing:

"Blinded"
{Verse 1}
I hate long distance
It makes me feel like you aren't in existence
I'm blinded and I can not see
Unless I have you here next to me
((I'm blinded, blinded by love))

{Bridge}
They once said that nice guys finish last
You helped me make that a blast from the past

{Chorus}
Crazed by the silence
I need some guidance
Moved by the sound
Who knows when I'll come around
((I'm blinded, blinded by love))

{Verse 2}
Blinded by love
Seems like no one can understand
Blinded from the powers above
And now life seems so bland
((I'm like a deer, a deer caught in the headlights))

{Bridge}
They once said that nice guys finish last
You helped me make that a blast from the past

{Chorus}

{Verse 3}
Searching for a better day
Looking for a better way
To deal with this feeling
Of my heart's constant reeling
((Reeling for you))


{Chorus}

Song about how much I'd love to be in a succesful band:
"Like Nothing Else"

Nothing is out of our reach
We drive slowly to the beach
Walk its pleasant, lonely sands
Try to contemplate new plans
We've been crippled in our quest
Count our curses but we're blessed
Please appease to our request

Just wait and wonder
Don't be torn asunder

This hasn't been easy
We've struggled, really
But we want this, truly
We want this
We want this
We want this like nothing else

We're progressing towards
Our major breakthrough
A couple days 'til
We find a clue
We'll get our chance
We'll see the light
It will be burning bright

Just wait and wonder
Don't be torn asunder

This hasn't been easy
We've struggled, really
But we want this, truly
We want this
We want this
We want this like nothing else

We really want this
We really want this
We truly want this like nothing else
A 10-liner:

Here goes the rocket
With power beyond measure
Nothin' can stop it
Not burnout nor pressure
Freedom is all around them
The colors completely surround them
The light flashes dully in their eyes
Outer space begins to rise into view
And makes them feel whole again
For the very first time

That's probably enough, especially cause I don't think I have anything else all that light, at least saved on my Mac.
 
I like those better, well not sure about the football one. I would make a comment about that night but I'd better not.;)
You've got talent, you really should pursue it.
 
LondonKing, evidentally you were right about my poetry skills/talent, because poetry.com just sent me an email telling me I am one of about 200 poets they chose as the "Best Poets of 2005". For all I know, poetry.com is so unvisited and no one posts on there that it is easy to get that accomplishment, but even so...I'm gonna have a previously unpublished poem on its own page opposite a page about me and about what the poem means to me and who I thought of the idea behind it. I'm still in the mode of thinking..."woah, what the heck?" but maybe I'll snap out of that sometime, especially if I find out there are a crapload of poems on poetry.com....anyways, yeah.....any suggestions on if I should enter anything I've already written (besides The Hunted, alreadly published)? I think I'll write something new but...still.


***EDIT***: Semi-false alarm. It seems as though poetry.com is pretty scammy, or at least there are a lot of convincing websites who have a conspiracy against a real, actual, true thing. Anyways, yeah, I'll probably enter something for laughs but I won't buy anything from them and whatnot.
 
Last edited:
BobbyJ_for3! said:
LondonKing, evidentally you were right about my poetry skills/talent, because poetry.com just sent me an email telling me I am one of about 200 poets they chose as the "Best Poets of 2005". For all I know, poetry.com is so unvisited and no one posts on there that it is easy to get that accomplishment, but even so...I'm gonna have a previously unpublished poem on its own page opposite a page about me and about what the poem means to me and who I thought of the idea behind it. I'm still in the mode of thinking..."woah, what the heck?" but maybe I'll snap out of that sometime, especially if I find out there are a crapload of poems on poetry.com....anyways, yeah.....any suggestions on if I should enter anything I've already written (besides The Hunted, alreadly published)? I think I'll write something new but...still.
Click to expand...

That is wonderful! Congratulations, BobbyJ_for3!

1074.gif
 
BobbyJ_for3! said:
LondonKing, evidentally you were right about my poetry skills/talent, because poetry.com just sent me an email telling me I am one of about 200 poets they chose as the "Best Poets of 2005". For all I know, poetry.com is so unvisited and no one posts on there that it is easy to get that accomplishment, but even so...I'm gonna have a previously unpublished poem on its own page opposite a page about me and about what the poem means to me and who I thought of the idea behind it. I'm still in the mode of thinking..."woah, what the heck?" but maybe I'll snap out of that sometime, especially if I find out there are a crapload of poems on poetry.com....anyways, yeah.....any suggestions on if I should enter anything I've already written (besides The Hunted, alreadly published)? I think I'll write something new but...still.
Click to expand...

Congrats Bobby, that's great. If you have time write something new and please give us the link so we can check out your stardom.:D
 
10/21

I haven't written in a while, so I wrote today, and I get a good vibe from the two things I wrote..... may I share?

more of a song...:

Really Rachel (Heart Of Hearts)

"There you sit, eyes glowing blue
I've come all this way, yet hurt burns anew
I can feel a spark, a growing flame
A bonfire to which there is no name
I guess you don't get what is so plain
But please don't let this feeling wain

Can't you see, can't we be
You really don't understand

(Chorus)
Really Rachel, you're oh-so kind
And really Rachel, everything is fine
Oh, really Rachel, I truly don't mind
But Rachel, why must you be so blind?
Rachel, use your heart of hearts

Romance surely has not departed
Even if it's been disregarded
But let me show you, will you please
I wrote this song and I'm on my knees
Can I let you in on an enigma
No one knows what love means

Can't you see, can't we be
You really don't understand

(Chorus)

I don't mean to be rude
And maybe this all sound so crude
But I must point out the chemistry
And our oh-so cute ability
To always have fun
We always have...

(Chorus)

Can't you see, can't we be
You really don't understand
I missed you Rachel
Did you miss me too
Heart of hearts, heart of hearts
Heart of hearts, heart of hearts
Please..."

and more of a poem...somewhat...odd? i guess...:

All Will Be Right
"He came close and peered into her eyes
Brushed back her lucious hair with sweet grace
And whispered softly in her ear
Of the way she moved, the way she spoke
Of how her eyes sparkled when she laughed
And her lips formed a crest of beauty when she smiled
He told of the movement of her nose
As she heard and responded and cared about others
She listened with quiet intent, all the while lighting up within
She heard him speak of how beautiful he found her, inside and out
She knew deep down she believed every word
He leaned forward
Looked in her profound blue eyes
And found himself
And with that, he kissed her
A passionate kiss that went on for days
Yet was over in an instant
They studied each other with slow assiduity
As they stood intertwined
And he walked away
Respecting her and her boundaries
As she now respected him and his genuineness
And the sun set in her eyes
Awaiting the moment
They would next lay themselves upon him
At which point she would feel alive again
The world would begin it's steady turn again
And all would be right"
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

RoyalDiva
Old school Kings - Scot Pollard
Replies
27
Views
2K
PacMan
P
Warhawk
East Coast trip this summer - any suggestions?
Replies
14
Views
396
Spike
Spike
Spike
What Do The Kings Mean to You?
Replies
6
Views
456
Siranthony
S
megapoxy
Kings' opponents high free throw percentage
Replies
5
Views
488
kingsboi
kingsboi
Bosnian Diehard
How to Finish Building Around our Big 3?
2 3
Replies
67
Views
5K
CarlosBob
CarlosBob
Back
Top