2008-09 NFL Mascot Pick'em Game

[Monty'sBiggestFan]

I’ve conferred with one of my partners in crime last season and we’re going to resurrect our mascot pickin’ game for the season. Here’s a link to last year’s festivities if you missed it. Everyone is invited to join in as we once again practice our best attempts at masotology. So come one and all….

I am going to start with my entry for tonight’s game first and post the remaining portion of the week 1 schedule by the end of the day Saturday.

THU, SEP 4


Washington at NY Giants - Redskins and Giants? You know, this is the epitome of getting back on the horse that bucked you. I was bucked by the tall dudes for nearly all of last season until it came down to the big dance. And after weeks and weeks of analysis and (over)thought, I figured these guys out. New season, new chance to start out of the gate on the good foot. And that 2008-09 inaugural foot will start with some research on a previous battle between indigenous folk and a tribe of tall peeps.

…Among the legends of the ancient Native Americans there was once a powerful tribe called Ronnongwetowanca. The Ronnongwetowanca were giants, and had a "considerable habitation." David Cusick, a Tuscorora Indian states that "when the Great Spirit made the people, some of them became giants. They made themselves feared by attacking when most unexpected. After having endured the outrages of these giants for a great long time, the people banded together to destroy them. With a final force of about 800 warriors, they successfully annihilated the abhorrent Ronnongwetowanca. There were no giants anywhere after this, it was said." This supposedly occurred circa 1,000 B.C.

Now, last I checked…the roster limit is 53 and not 800. This could pose a liiiiiiiiiiiiitle bit of problem if the requisite number to overtake a band of giants is 747 more on your side. Sure a lot of advancements have been made since 1,000 B.C. and 53 could = 800 in terms of current equivalencies, but still….GIANTS

http://kingsfans.com/forums/printthread.php?t=22439

 

[VF21]

Whoa. The Ronnongwetowanca???? You're bringing out the "big guns" (or should I say long bows?) pretty early this season. I can see right now I'm going to have to do a little more analysis.

 

[VF21]

WEEK 1 (Minus the game I overlooked, of course)

Bengals at Ravens - Bengal tigers are ferocious, they're cunning and they're predators. Ravens, while immortalized by Edgar Allen Poe, are still birds and not even really big birds, especially when facing carnivorous felines. BIG carnivorous felines. Ravens might be able to fly but they're not going to be able to fly forever. And soon as they go to ground, the Bengals will be all over them. BENGALS

Jaguars at Titans - Another wily carnivorous feline, jaguars are also exceptionally fast. But Titans are HUMONGOUS. It's never easy to go against the predator cats, which is why teams are named after them, but Titans - who are also pretty destructive missiles - just seem to have the edge, especially on their home "turf." TITANS

Jets at Dolphins - Dolphins live in the ocean. Jets fly in the sky. Jets do not fly in the ocean. Nuff said. DOLPHINS

Chiefs at Patriots - The Patriots won their independence by taking a trick from the native peoples and hiding behind trees, etc. and shooting at their opponents. I think they've learned their lessons very well and the poor visiting Chiefs won't stand a chance. PATRIOTS

Buccaneers at Saints - I love pirates but I think they're pushing their luck when they try and march against the Saints, especially on their home opener. SAINTS

Rams at Eagles - I hate the Rams almost as much as I hate teams from Texas. This week, though, I can actually simply look at the mascots. Eagles are ferocious predatory birds with very sharp talons and really cool-looking beaks. Rams may look a bit daunting at first glance, but they're still just little lambies inside. EAGLES

Texans at Steelers - Swaggering Texans strolling into Pittsburgh aren't going to have much luck against guys who handle molten steel for fun. STEELERS

Lions at Falcons - And yet another predatory feline has to be given his due. Much like the Bengals, they can lie in wait until the Falcons' wings give out. LIONS

Seahawks at Bills - Wild West Show or not, the little predatory bird with the heart of an eagle cannot be overlooked. The Buffalo Bill Show just might not have enough substance over style to defeat the tenacious little carnivore. SEAHAWKS

Cardinals at 49ers - I won't even try and explain this one. 49ERS

Cowboys at Browns - Take some cowboys off the range, drop them in Cleveland and see what happens. Big Brown will rule the day and the cowboys will be sent home unclaimed. BROWNS

Panthers at Chargers - And yet another carnivorous feline, but this time it's up against the noble steed with armor and hooves and simply too much going for it. CHARGERS

Bears at Colts - Big teeth, big claws and incredible strength vs. some cute little baby horsies? DA BEARS!

Vikings at Packers - The invaders from the North take no prisoners and I don't think they'll wait around placidly while the guys who stuff food into cans try and figure out how to get past the maces and lances and such. VIKINGS

Broncos at Raiders - I picture the town from Pirates of the Caribbean. In those surroundings, I think it's nearly impossible to give the nod to the horses, even though they have strong hearts. RAIDERS

 

[Monty'sBiggestFan]

Week 1

Whew...done a lot sooner than it appeared I was going to be....


SUN, SEP 7
Tampa Bay at New Orleans – Buccaneers and Saints? I’m continuing on the logic I employed last season, which was traveling from the Bay of Tampa takes a bit out of the pirates and well, folk who can summon miracles and/or divine intervention always have an edge. SAINTS


St. Louis at Philadelphia –Rams and Eagles? Hmmmm…my gut feeling (overthinking alert) tells me that the majestic bird that is the nation’s symbol has an advantage outdoors against a four legged animal. Flight has to trump, well, non-flight. But geez, if I needed any other reason, the game’s being played in a nationally historically significant city to boot. The eagle will feel extra need to show well. EAGLES

NY Jets at Miami – Jets and Dolphins? Boy. I dunno about this one. I remember thinking last season that Flipper had the advantage being that Flipper was swimming hecka fast (and don’t forget the cuteness factor) and had being underwater going for him. But it seems like the aircraft folk have new weapontry that can perhaps give it more of an advantage than it had last year when I didn’t pick them and they won. Something tells me I should go with the results from last year and not my analysis from last year. Eh, so what the heck..JETS

Kansas City at New England – Chiefs and Patriots? Boy….feels somewhat like Manifest Destiny to some extent. I remember from my schoolin’ how that story went. PATRIOTS

Houston at Pittsburgh – Texans and Steelers? I recall the heat coefficient making a big difference last year. I’m going to stick with it again this season. Dudes who have the power to melt things or work with super hot stuff I still don’t see having a problem with dudes with guns. STEELERS

Cincinnati at Baltimore – Bengals and Ravens?Flight trumps non-flight…good corollary to work with. However, birds and cats? That calls for some more deep (over)thinking. I was about to go cat vs bird and give the cat the edge, but this bird talks and has driven any number of people crazy. That’s a lot of power to go along with the whole flight advantage thing. RAVENS


Detroit at Atlanta – Lions and Falcons? Again with another bird vs cat matchup? Do I stay true to my corollary? I should huh? But (overthinking alert) these are falcons…and I remember being enamored by the badness of falcons – the flesh ripping nature of their talons and beaks. But seriously, from as many of the Marlon Perkins episodes I’ve watched in my lifetime, how many times did I see a falcon flying around with remnants of lion carcass in it’s beak? ZERO. LIONS


Seattle at Buffalo –Seahawks and Bills? Piratey bird against the Buffadudes. Don’t care which one the mascot from Buffalo morphs into to face them, I’m taking the crafty Skua on the basis of well, their all around craftiness. Again, with my flight trumping non-flight. If the mascot on Sunday is the dude with a rifle variety. I still am taking skua. SEAHAWKS


Jacksonville at Tennessee – Jaguars and Titans? Last season, I think I fell in love with Yaguara. And against the Harry Hamlins, I’m sticking with my big cat. JAGUARS


Dallas at Cleveland – Cowboys and Browns? Look, a big truck and a bunch of guys on horseback with six shooters? I’m not even sure how to characterize the nature of this matchup really. I’m going on the idea that brown is doing for me unarmed. If some of these cowboys are rogue (insert T.O. or Adam Jones joke here) brown is in trouble. COWBOYS


Carolina at San Diego – Panthers and Chargers? I’ve seen many a cat in my day that was skiddish when a big noise startled them. Thunder and bolts of lightening are up the auditory scale from me clapping my hand and yelling “GET OUT OF THAT” or “GET DOWN” or “WHAT ARE YOU DOING” CHARGERS


Arizona at San Francisco – Cardinals and 49ers? Hmmm. You know…this matchup seems familiar. And last time I went with the sourdough wielding goldies because well, the birds can’t resist the crumbs. I know these birds have the tiny little masks on their faces, flaunting their deviousness. And that leads me to believe that they’d be brazen enough to waltz in and haul off with goldies rounds AND gold. But I think they’re crazy enough to fall for the old bread crumb trick yet again, even though they are seemingly older and wiser now. 49ERS

Chicago at Indianapolis - Bears and Colts? Okee, the big horseshoe and all the tiny ones? Tooo much in the luck department. COLTS.

MON, SEP 8
Minnesota at Green Bay – Vikings and Packers? I don’t remember how I rolled with this matchup last year. I *think* I felt that the packing people had more skills packing for long voyages than the Norse. Truuuuuuue enough. But the Viking come to your plant, see your stuff and conquer it. VIKINGS


Denver at Oakland - Broncos and Raiders? Sigh. Don’t know about this one. More pirates and a young wild horses. I might just have to go with the peeps with weapons here. Not sure why, but this is just an inkling I have. RAIDERS

 

[Monty'sBiggestFan]

Good gawd....this was a rough week. I need to rework some formulas....

 

[VF21]

...space left to update standings, which I forgot until this very moment...

 

[VF21]

Week 2
Bears at Panthers - Panthers roam the jungles while bears are more comfortable in the forests. Maneuverability might just be a problem for the ursine crew. PANTHERS

Packers at Lions - The noble feline on his own turf could make things very difficult for the guys from Green Bay. LIONS

Bills at Jaguars - And again, a quick and clever carnivorous feline on his home turf is nothing to take for granted. JAGUARS

Raiders at Chiefs - This could be a very interesting challenge. The Chiefs get the nod simply because of the home advantage. CHIEFS

Giants at Rams - The big guys travel to St. Louis and still end up with a nice dinner. Rack of lamb anyone? GIANTS

Colts at Vikings - Poor little horsies. So much promise but it's cold in the home of the Vikings and they know where all the ice caves and false snow bridges may be found. VIKINGS

Titans at Bengals - Still another ferocious feline, and one who is known to be a maneater. The nod has to go to the noble Bengal. BENGALS

Saints at Redskins - Another situation where the home advantage gives the edge to the guys with the tomahawks. REDSKINS

49ers at Seahawks - The lads from California may have their sourdough bread and their mining equipment but the wily sea bird has his home advantage. SEAHAWKS

Falcons at Buccaneers - Nasty guys with muskets and cutlasses should make short shrift of the visiting birds, even if it is a bird of prey. BUCCANEERS

Chargers at Broncos - While the noble steed of days of yore would normally get the nod, when he has to face his wild cousin at elevation things could change drastically. BRONCOS

Patriots at Jets - Up, up and away! The nod has to go to the guys in the planes with missiles and guns. JETS

Dolphins at Cardinals - Arizona is hot and dry. Dolphins like neither. CARDINALS

Steelers at Browns - On the road or not, when you've got guys used to bending molten metals to their will, those guys have to have the edge. STEELERS

Eagles at Cowboys - Cowboys have guns, lassos and should be able to defend their prairie against the invader from the sky. COWBOYS

Ravens at Texans - Postponed until Nov. 5

 

[Monty'sBiggestFan]

Week 2

SUN, SEP 14
Oakland at Kansas City – Raiders and Chiefs? Hmmm. I took the pirates last week for reasons unknown or reasons I can’t remember. I’m going to take the guys with the long bows this week just because I think the weapons they have at their disposal should be of more of advantage, if the pirates’ ship with the cannons can’t make it inland. CHIEFS

Green Bay at Detroit – Packers and Lions? – Feels like dudes who can put something in a can going up against something that has a carcass that can be put in a can should be a slam dunk pick. PACKERS

Tennessee at Cincinnati – Titans and Bengals? The Harry Hamlins will be traveling to face a feisty jungle cat in its lair. I don’t know if this is who he clashed with or if he did if he was successful, I’m going to deviate from a formula that will become consistent the rest of the way (if that made sense – it does to me because I’m not writing this sequentially ) so I may stick with my decision to go with the home cat to stay consistent at least since they aren’t playing somebody who can pack or can them. Unless I missed that part of the movie…it’s been a while since I’ve seen it….BENGALS

Chicago at Carolina – Bears and Panthers? Bears are bigger, much more imposing but Panthers can run fast, jump and otherwise be nimble. I’m applying the speed co-efficient in this matchup and given the nod to the animal that can beat you to the punch (or outrun your punch). Played in its um…native Carolina habitat…gotta go with the home mascot. PANTHERS


Buffalo at Jacksonville – Bills and Jaguars? Yaguara was a little disappointing to me last week, something I rarely said last season. Me and Yaguara seemed to be simpatico and at one. Against the buffadudes, I think they are formidable regardless of which way the buffadudes morph in this matchup. Sure, the gun could work to the Bill’s advantage if they morph into the wild west gunslinger. But since Yaguara is home, like the other cat this week, I’m going that direction. JAGUARS


New Orleans at Washington – Saints and Redskins? – Miracle men and indigenous folk. Hmmm….this one’s tough. I think the miracle men are a step closer to making something happen than someone who may need to call upon the One who can make something happen. Call it degree of separation for intervention co-efficient. This is a new calculation, so stay tuned on this one. SAINTS

Indianapolis at Minnesota – Colts and Vikings? The horsies with the lucky shoes sure weren’t lucky last week even with the big ol’ horseshoe on their ground there to help them out. Weird. That was money last season. I think they should be able to get over on the Norsemen this week regardless, because the collective power of the shoes they carry with them should be enough unless they let the Viking pillage them. I’m sure the cannon thing should factor in there, but I’m still stuck on the power of the shoe, so I’m going to go with that feeling. COLTS


NY Giants at St. Louis – Giants and Rams? Man. On the size co-efficient alone I should take the big dudes. I can’t think of a reason why big folks would get beaten by a docile herbivore…I just cant. GIANTS


San Francisco at Seattle – 49ers and Seahawks? I think last year that I took Skua to run off with the sourdough rounds just because they can. This is second bandit bird that goldie will face in a row, and given the masked bird’s success last week, I think the trend continues. SEAHAWKS

Atlanta at Tampa Bay – Falcons and Buccanneers? Weird how I completely underestimated the baaaaaaaaaaaad bird falcons after confessing to still have my fascination with their badness as birds go. But the pirates from the bay of Tampa are hard on birds. I’m going to go with the baaaaaaaaaaaad birds here in my weekly reasons unknown pick. I’m taking the horsies over a pirate, so why not a bird while I’m at it? FALCONS


Miami at Arizona – Dolphins and Cardinals? Well, you know. I misunderestimated the bandity birds last week and it bit me in the proverbial. I gotta think that Flipper, hecka cute as he may be, heading to the desert can’t give him an advantage. CARDINAL


New England at NY Jets - Patriots and Jets? Hmmmm, I’m sure if I think long enough, I could come up with an important battle that took place in New York (by way of New Jersey) during the Revolution. Not sure I can come up with one that involved a plane. I remember having this anachronistic issue come up last year. But um…this kinda gave me pause…http://www.americanrevolution.com/BattleforNewYork.htm
Seems like the revolutionaries could have a flashback…JETS



San Diego at Denver – Chargers and Broncos? Hmmmmm…..a horse that’s jumpy anyway, facing bolts of lightning (with the requisite thunder with it?) that might make the horse crazier jumpy to where it could go jack crazy on you or run off. It’s more familiar with the terrain in this matchup so it might be bolder, but it’s natural jumpiness makes it unpredictable so I’m going to just have to go with the gut here. CHARGERS

Pittsburgh at Cleveland – Steelers and Browns? Brown didn’t do for me last week…and I use “me” in the royal sense since I picked them not to do for me last week. I think they may continue to not do for me because the dudes with hot molten stuff have to still have an advantage. They can emit enough heat to melt not only everything on Brown’s truck, but BROWN’S TRUCK ITSELF. STEELERS.

MON, SEP 15
Philadelphia at Dallas - Eagles and Cowboys? Now last year I reckoned that the Eagle can’t be shot because it’s protected. I also raised the specter last week that these cowboys could very well be rogue and thus don’t care. COWBOYS

 

[Monty'sBiggestFan]

Week 3

SUN, SEP 21
Kansas City at Atlanta - Chiefs and Falcons? Well, I believe last season, I went with the bird in matchups against the indigenous people. Why you ask? On the theory that the bird has some reverence. (oh….and falcons are baaaaaaaaaaaaad birds) FALCONS

Oakland at Buffalo – Raiders and Bills? The buffadudes have made my analysis difficult. I’m not in tune with how the roll, eh..morph. I think the wild west dude could take a pirate, if the pirate only had the ship’s cannon as his weapon of choice. I think the rifle is a slightly better weapon to work with, much less wieldy. And if it’s the buffalo this week? Even as big as this animal is, I think it could outrun a cannon ball shot its direction. BILLS

Tampa Bay at Chicago – Buccaneers and Bears? Okeee, to stay with the thinking, I’m going to figure that the pirate animal matchup favors the animal. I see nothing about the bay of Tampa pirates having any special powers their breatheren have had. BEARS

Houston at Tennessee – Texans and Titans? - I misread the Harry Hamlins last week. They clearly had experience clashing with Bengal tigers. Good to know…Now we’re at a different mammal of the Texan variety. I’m going to give the nod, perhaps against better judgment to the dudes with the guns. Just because I don’t remember Harry Hamlin having one, just the owl sticks out in my mind. TEXANS

Cincinnati at NY Giants – Bengals and Giants? Well, I thought the tigers would get over on the Harry Hamlins. I was clearly wrong there. I think they may struggle with the big dudes too, since well, they’re bigger than the Harry Hamlins. Size matters. GIANTS

Carolina at Minnesota – Panthers and Vikings? Hmmmm. The Panther has been an iffy read for me, but I’m going to stick with the philosophy above and take the animal over the pirate. PANTHERS

Miami at New England – Dolphins and Patriots? Missed the boat so to speak on the anachronistic issue with the revolutionary and the airplane. Flipper, though hecka cute, is going up against a guy with a gun. That’s never good. PATRIOTS


Arizona at Washington – Cardinals and Redskins? – This is a small bird, going up against indigenous people who may or may not have weapons. Oh I dunno, this may be my one pick which has no apparent rhyme or reason. CARDINALS

St. Louis at Seattle – Rams and Seahawks? Skua seems a lost less intimidating this season. Not sure why that is. Normally I think I lean skua because skua is a big bird and has some pirate going for it. I’m not sure the docile herbivore can do much with skua. In fact I reckon in some pacific northwest legend, skua picked up a ram and carried it some place for um..some reason which will make sense if you read the legend. SEAHAWKS

Detroit at San Francisco – Lions and 49ers? I am clearly out of sync with goldie. But I think I have this one nailed. The birds have been hit or miss with the efficacy of using the sourdough rounds as a lure or distraction. Lions are up the food chain certainly, but may have a different level of craftiness than the bandity birds or skua, or be somewhere in between in terms of personality. I think the rounds can perfectly misdirect a lion. 49ERS

New Orleans at Denver – Saints and Broncos? Not sure what to think of this one. What edge would a horse have over miracle men? Mile-highness? But isn’t the miracle man higher? This is a toughie. I’m going to give the nod to the horsie simply because the mile-highness is harder to adjust to and the horse has obviously adapted. BRONCOS

Jacksonville at Indianapolis – Jaquars and Colts? I’m shaking my head on this one two. I thought I had Yaguara pegged. But I’m feeling like the young horses with all the extra horseshoes should maintain their edge. COLTS

Cleveland at Baltimore – Browns and Ravens? Gosh. Still not sure what brown does for me, so figuring out what brown does for me against the big talking bird. I’m going to take the bird, they can get to and from destinations faster. RAVENS

Pittsburgh at Philadelphia – Steelers and Eagles? Icarus comes to mind here, dunno why since the noble bird’s wings are actually not affixed to its body by wax, thus heat shouldn’t be an issue. But should I consider birds which end up roasted on a spit, because flesh – feathered or not, isn’t good against heat regardless. That might be an overthought sidenote. Let me go with the bird here, simply because the Icarus angle clearly was a red herring. EAGLES


Dallas at Green Bay – Cowboys and Packers? I think I’m on a roll with these two mascots, let see if I stay that way. Dudes without guns against dudes with guns (and dudes with guns who may or may not be rogue). I’m gonna say, dudes with guns win out…weapon co-efficient. COWBOYS


MON, SEP 22
NY Jets at San Diego – Jets and Chargers? Can planes fly in inclement weather? I guess so, although it seems scary, the turbulence especially. I think take off and landing are iffy as I recall from many a flight delay. I’m going energy here. CHARGERS

 

[VF21]

Argh!!! I totally forgot about week 3. I'm really behind the 8-ball now. I'll get the standings posted and my picks up by tomorrow I promise.

 

[VF21]

Week 4:

Falcons at Panthers - Feisty birds just shouldn't win on the big cat's home turf. PANTHERS

Browns at Bengals - The guys who deliver the packages are good but I can't see them doing very well trying to battle their way through the Bengals home defenses. BENGALS

Texans at Jaguars - The difference between this matchup and the previous two is pretty simple. Falcons and Browns don't have guns. Texans do. And guns reach further than claws and teeth. TEXANS

Vikings at Titans - I'm still confused about the Titans. Are they the missiles? Are they the big guys? Are they, as my cohort has suggested, Harry Hamlin's "posse"? Regardless, I just don't think they'll walk away from an encounter with the marauding Vikings without knowing they've been in a fight. VIKINGS

Broncos at Chiefs - The equine from the plains is faster and more agile. BRONCOS

49ers at Saints - Once again, there is no logic or rhyme or reason necessarily associated with my pick. I don't ever pick against my 49ers. NINERS

Cardinals at Jets - Red birds can fly but supersonic planes fly higher and faster. JETS

Packers at Buccaneers - The home nod goes to the guys who buckle their swashes. BUCCANEERS

Chargers at Raiders - Noble steeds may have a tough time against the nasty pirates but there's so much confusion in the home of the guys in silver and black the visitors have to get the nod. CHARGERS

Bills at Rams - Lamb stew anyone? BILLS

Redskins at Cowboys - In matches like these from olden days, the cowboys have all the advantages. COWBOYS

Eagles at Bears - A very tough match to call. Against all rationale, I think the ursine crew will take the flight away from our majestic bird and ground him. BEARS

Ravens at Steelers - The black bird will be once again quoting "nevermore" after trying to battle the men who work with molten lead on their home turf. STEELERS

 

[Monty'sBiggestFan]

Week 4

SUN, SEP 28
Green Bay at Tampa Bay – Packers and Buccaneers? Well, I think last season I took the guys with the packing equipment because of their advanced ability to store their own provisions for long trips and such. I think tho, since the pirates from the Bay of Tampa aren’t traveling that’s not as much an edge – BUCCANEERS

Houston at Jacksonville – Texans and Jaguars? One of these days me and my favorite mascot from last season yaguara will be on the same page. I think speed co-efficient is at work here, I like the idea that they’d be faster than dudes with six shooters. JAGUARS

Atlanta at Carolina – Falcons and Panthers? Have a had a cat/bird matchup this year? Doesn’t really matter because I’m leaning cat again in the matchup. Despite it being the baaaaaaaaaaaaad bird falcons in this pairing. PANTHERS

Arizona at NY Jets – Cardinals and Jets? Hmmmm…bird on eh, “bird” here. The bandity birds have been a hard read. But their thievery could help them be deceptive enough to find a way to outwit (if that’s the appropriate word to use for a piece of machinery) a plane. I should pay attention to the speed coefficient that I invoked earlier, but I think the sneakiness implied by the mask on Cardinal’s face has to be something that gives it an edge. CARDINALS

San Francisco at New Orleans – Saints and 49ers? Well…shoot. The miracle men haven’t been very helpful to my prognosticating. But I’m going to guess that their ability to summon intervention, will help them beat goldie to the goal. They should know that goldie’s sourdough tricks are merely a rouse. SAINTS

Cleveland at Cincinnati – Browns and Bengals? Brown hasn’t done for me, not like I’ve expected brown to do for me anyway, but still..just pointing out something I’ve noticed. The big cat can outrun the truck or intimidate the driver enough with a big growl to get out of the seat and hand over the keys. BENGALS

Minnesota at Tennessee – Vikings and Titans? Oh boy, the Harry Hamlins again. It is probably time for me to give Harry some due respect, I think I’ve picked against him only to get burned. I have GOT to read that book or see the movie again soon. I vaguely remember a ship from the movie so I’m trusting that Harry and the owl got over whoever was on it in that particular clash. TITANS

Denver at Kansas City – Broncos and Chiefs? Okeee, the young bucking horse and the indigenous leader who may want to ride? I think the horsie could win since it’s wild and all. It’s too young to know any better or that it should get caught and rode. BRONCOS

San Diego at Oakland – Chargers and Raiders? Hmmmmmmm. Here’s where I’m going, this seemed to work with the plane matchup. Dudes on ships against a element from storms? Yeesh….not feeling this one for the pirates. CHARGERS

Buffalo at St. Louis – Bills and Rams? Well, this might be the easiest pick of the bunch. Docile herbivore and the buffadudes? I don’t care which way the buffadude morphs it seems no contest for the ram. Yikes. BILLS

Washington at Dallas – Redskins and Cowboys? More spaghetti westerns eh? I’m taking the rogue western dude in this one, their rogueness seems to be a factor thus far this season, hard to not account for it. COWBOYS

Philadelphia at Chicago – Eagles and Bears? Huh…Well, took the bears last week in a trend I was riding. THAT worked out well in the reasoning department. I’m going to figure that the noble bird has an edge here again with the speed factor and the talons and beak deal. If the Falcons were here I might go bird still for the same reason (plus the baaaaaaaaadness the falcon has going for it in my mind). EAGLES

MON, SEP 29
Baltimore at Pittsburgh – Ravens and Steelers? I took a bird against the hot molten stuff dudes last week. I sticking with it even tho different type of bird. I probably shouldn’t because I need to learn to let go of trends, but then again I might be onto to something that actually IS a trend and not one I just hope is one. RAVENS

 

[Monty'sBiggestFan]

hmmm....I was way way to over-reliant on birds this week.

 

[Monty'sBiggestFan]

Week 5

SUN, OCT 5
Kansas City at Carolina – Chiefs and Panthers? Well…I’ve got two indigenous people vs an animal matchups this weekend. Should I go the same way with them, different animals tho, or should I go with splitting them? I think I’m going with the reverence factor on both. PANTHERS

Tennessee at Baltimore – Titans and Ravens? Well, gosh. Harry Hamlins have the owl, but does owl trump big black talking bird? Weight, height and reach(aka wingspan) should favor big black bird, but am I missing something (as I confess to not having read the book or watched the movie still). RAVENS

San Diego at Miami – Chargers and Dolphins? – Hmmm, I like the force of energy against an animal. Like electric fences, the Chargers have the eh, power to corral the hecka cute marine animal. CHARGERS


Seattle at NY Giants – Seahawks and Giants? Big dudes against piratety bird. Skua is shifty and shifty can probably outwit and outmaneuver big dudes. But I’m going to lean on the side of size - GIANTS


Washington at Philadelphia – Redskins and Eagles? As with my other indigenous people animal matchup, I’m going reverence and taking the animal. I think too, picking this way last season was advantageous. EAGLES

Indianapolis at Houston – Colts and Texans? Alrighty, the horse shoes again. And the collection of them on the helmets, I remember this coming up in analysis before. Guns just don’t concern me in my thinking about who has the edge. COLTS

Atlanta at Green Bay – Falcons and Packers? Dudes with the ability to can meat products and things that have a carcass that can be canned? I think I called this before. PACKERS


Chicago at Detroit – Bears and Lions? I want to say that the lion is bigger and stronger, but what empirically tells me that’s the case. That doesn’t even seem anecdotal. But something leads me to believe the lion could roll a bear, especially in it’s den. LIONS



Tampa Bay at Denver – Buccaneers and Broncos? Pirates from the bay of Tampa are traveling the straights of Denver for this matchup. (Strike 1). Denver is purportedly, according to rumors – above sea level (Strike 2). Strike 3 swinging is trying to shoot a wild pony with a cannon. BRONCOS


Cincinnati at Dallas – Bengals and Cowboys? Jungle cat against (rogue) dudes with guns? I gotta go dudes with guns here rogue or not. COWBOYS

Buffalo at Arizona – Bills and Cardinals? The cute bird with the bandit mask let me down last week. I thought I was onto something. I’m not sure if the morphing buffadudes match up well either way, I think the bird can beat the buffalo, but the wild west guy is a trickier read. Dude has an edge I think. But this is a tiny bird, and it has a mask which screams edge to me for some reason. CARDINALS

New England at San Francisco – Patriots and 49ers? Historic dudes and goldie. I’m going with the revolutionaries under the thinking that without them perhaps goldie doesn’t exist. Sure, that’s a historical stretch. But chronology has to play a factor no? PATRIOTS

Pittsburgh at Jacksonville – Steelers and Jaguars? Hmmm. Yaguara and men with hot molten stuff, there are some birds which were immune to the heat. Methinks yaguara, coming from warmer climes, can equally be immune. JAGUARS

MON, OCT 6
Minnesota at New Orleans – Vikings and Saints? Saints and sinners (stretch alert) matchup should be easy. SAINTS

 

[VF21]

Sometimes I REALLY hate dialup! I've been trying to get online for almost 30 minutes... BLECH!!!

Anyway, here are my picks for Week 5:

Bears @ Lions - When two formidable foes face off, it's usually about comparing weapons. Both these fierce beasts, however, have long claws and pretty nasty teeth. Since that's the case, the advantage has to go to the stronger of the two and bears are simply much stronger than lions. BEARS

Chargers @ Dolphins - No matter how impressive the noble steed, he cannot swim with all that armor. If the aquatic mammals don't let the horsie get close enough to shore to get a foothold, Flipper wins. DOLPHINS

Falcons @ Packers - A bird should never voluntarily fly into a situation where some of its kin can be stuffed into cans for consumption. Just not good sense. PACKERS

Seahawks @ Giants - This one could be tricky, but the wily seabird is going to have a lot of trouble on the Giants' home turf where they can put up nets, etc. to curtail the use of the air game. GIANTS

Titans @ Ravens - These birds, on the other hand, do have the advantage of being at home where they might bedevil the visitors and force them off cliffs or something. RAVENS

Colts @ Texans - Little horsies going into the home of guys with guns and lariats? That has possible disaster written all over it. The horsies may be doing well but the paper advantage has to go against them. TEXANS

Chiefs @ Panthers - The guy whose wearing the feather headdress will have his work cut out for him in trying to elude the wily feline. PANTHERS

Redskins @ Eagles - These plains warriors have a whole different problem. Eagle feathers were treasured because they are difficult to get, especially when trying to locate aeries. It just takes one misstep and it's all over. EAGLES

Buccaneers @ Broncos - The guys may have trouble buckling their swashes as they're trying to first locate and then battle the wild equine. Another case where the home turf advantage seems to tilt the battle. BRONCOS

Bengals @ Cowboys - Here Kitty, kitty, kitty! The striped feline could save himself a lot of stress and frustration by simply staying home. COWBOYS

Patriots @ 49ers - The reason people still pull for underdogs is because they do occasionally win. The 49ers, on their home turf, draw a lot of strength and support from their fans. (GO NINERS!!!) 49ers

Bills @ Cardinals - Red bird or guy in scarlet robe? Buffalo or guy who prances around in fringed clothing shooting at buffalos? Nothing but confusion here. Advantage to home. CARDINALS

Steelers @ Jaguars - Listen to the frightening roar of the hidden predator feline as it stalks the visiting guys whose molten metal doesn't do them any good at all here. JAGUARS

Vikings @ Saints - The Saints will come marching in, make short work of the Vikings and march back out. SAINTS

 

[Monty'sBiggestFan]

Week 6

SUN, OCT 12
Oakland at New Orleans – Raiders and Saints? Saints and sinners again for the second straight week? I think I was onto something with my analysis, just that the miracle men didn’t follow through. The pirates from the Bay of St. Francisco I think could struggle with the length of the trip around the isthmus of the land of Oak. SAINTS

Cincinnati at NY Jets – Bengals and Jets? I took the animal against a plane last time…yuck. I’m going with the planes again on the elevation and speed advantage. JETS

Chicago at Atlanta – Bears and Falcons? Eh, big baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad bird falcons got out of the packing plant. Can they escape a bear? I ‘spose they could. Since the bear has the same designs on the falcon’s carcass that the packing dudes did. I’m gonna lean the way of the bird this week as a result. Sure, falcon’s luck could have expired as of last week’s Houdini act…then again, perhaps not. FALCONS

Detroit at Minnesota – Lions and Vikings? Well…here’s where I reverse course. I think the pillaging Norse have a good shot of smacking the king of the jungle with something, might not be a cannon ball but it will be some weapon likely to stun the creature into submission. (note…this would be MBF trying to not trend too much with similar matchups, especially those in which she has been hosed in previous weeks) VIKINGS

St. Louis at Washington – Rams and Redskins? Indigenous peoples I’m sure were able to utilize the docile herbivore. Nothing changes here. REDSKINS


Carolina at Tampa Bay – Panthers and Buccaneers? Pirates hosting a big black cat? I just don’t see how the cannon and an animal with speed and the ability to climb cares all that much when the sound of the cannon hits it. It’ll be gone by the time the ball is anywhere near it. PANTHERS

Miami at Houston – Dolphins and Texans? Wow, watch this flip…er I have gone against the hecka cute marine animal almost all season. And have missed the boat each time I think. I *think* last season I felt that shooting at flipper in the water can’t possibly work. I’m going to stick with that theory. DOLPHINS

Baltimore at Indianapolis – Ravens and Colts? Well, the lil horsies have the shoes on their helmets still and goodness knows it has come in handy. COLTS

Jacksonville at Denver - Jaguars and Broncos? See? I want to go back to my Marlon Perkins days and seeing a hunting cat stick a paw into the hide of a range animal and take it down. Granted…those may have been bigger cats than Yaguara is, but it’s not out of the realm of possibility now is it? Nope. JAGUARS

Green Bay at Seattle – Packers and Seahawks? – BOY! Am I anti-packing dudes because I thought for SURE they would get over on a walking carcass near the packing plant just BEGGING to be canned. True, it twas my baaaaaaaaad bird falcons, but still. Skua is a sneaky bird and the packing dudes don’t stand a chance against a bird that sneaks since it sneaks so it won’t get canned. SEAHAWKS

Philadelphia at San Francisco – Eagles and 49ers? Uh oh…another bird for goldie. I’ve got to decide whether the defeat of skua or the loss to bird with the mask is the true sign of how the sourdough helps or hurts goldie. I think skua’s aaaaaaaaaalmost win tends to make it a safe bet that birds are goldie’s kryptonite. EAGLES

Dallas at Arizona – Cowboys and Cardinals? Sneaky birds and dudes with six-shooters and are rogue? I went against the mask when I should have gone with it, and gone with it when it got kilt. Something makes me lean bird again, perhaps it’s the mask. Or perhaps this is my “just because” pick. CARDINALS

New England at San Diego – Patriots and Chargers? Seems like, when this matchup has happened before, that I felt Ben Franklin had something to do with the outcome. I’m sticking with that feeling. PATRIOTS

MON, OCT 13
NY Giants at Cleveland – Giants and Browns? E….Z. Big dudes crush brown’s van. Am I right? GIANTS

 

[Monty'sBiggestFan]

Phew...I could have sworn the bear had the bird in it's mouth....I even saw a pile of feathers on the ground.

Herbivores escape their pen

These mascots are a handful this season!

 

[VF21]

Oh crapadoodle!!! I had my predictions all ready last night and could have sworn I posted them.

Looking at the early games, however, I don't think it would have made much difference.

Grrrrrr.

 

[VF21]

Week 7:

Jets at Raiders - Planes with missiles should be able to swoop down and destroy the guys with swords and eye-patches. JEts

49ers at Giants - The seekers of gold head back to lands back east. All logic says the really big guys should win but there's nothing logical about 49er fans. 49ERS

Ravens at Dolphins - The spooky birds made famous by Poe can skulk around and be scary all they like. I don't think they can hold their breaths underwater, though. DOLPHINS

Cowboys at Rams - Talk about a game I'd just as soon see hit by meteors. The guys with the guns, lassos and superior skills should be having leg of lamb for dinner. COWBOYS

Vikings at Bears - The invaders from the north have more weapons but the ursine crew has a definite home field advantage. BEARS

Chargers at Bills - Noble steeds should be able to withstand the efforts of either the hooved creature or those who used to hunt them. Part of buffalo's biggest problem is the actual identity of their mascot. CHARGERS

Titans at Chiefs - Another team with an identity problem is Tennessee. If given a choice of endless mascots, "Titans" simply wouldn't have been on my list. They're traveling to the home of the warriors of the plains and could end up in deep doo-doo. CHIEFS

Steelers at Bengals - Molten metal doesn't travel well. And the fierce carnivores should be able to benefit from knowing where all the best ambush places are located. BENGALS

Saints at Panthers - Another situation where the nod should go to the wily feline but it's always problematic to go against guys with feast days named after them. SAINTS

Lions at Texans - Let's see...Lions have big teeth, big claws and nasty dispositiions. Texans have big hats, pompous attitudes and guns. Poor "King of Beasts" doesn't stand too much of a chance, especially when he'll stick out like a sore thumb in downtown Houston. TEXANS

Browns at Redskins - Package guys vs. bows and arrows and tomahawks? I don't think that packing tape is that strong. REDSKINS

Colts at Packers - In some countries, horsemeat is a delicacy. And how does it get to those countries? In cans. PACKERS

Seahawks at Buccaneers - I like the feisty little marine bird but it can only fly for so long before it has to land. And once it does, the lads who buckle their swashes will be looking for feathers for their nifty captain's hats. BUCCANEERS

Broncos at Patriots - The wild equine is master of the plains. Get him into the cold cities of New England, however, and he's more lost than a fish out of water. PATRIOTS

 

[VF21]

Standings catchup ... and yes, it's about freaking time.

WEEK 1 (Minus the game I overlooked, of course)

Bengals at Ravens - BENGALS - wrong

Jaguars at Titans - TITANS - right

Jets at Dolphins - DOLPHINS - wrong

Chiefs at Patriots - PATRIOTS - right

Buccaneers at Saints - SAINTS - right

Rams at Eagles - EAGLES - right

Texans at Steelers - STEELERS - right

Lions at Falcons - LIONS - wrong

Seahawks at Bills - SEAHAWKS - wrong

Cardinals at 49ers - 49ERS - right

Cowboys at Browns - BROWNS - wrong

Panthers at Chargers - CHARGERS - wrong

Bears at Colts - BEARS - right

Vikings at Packers - VIKINGS - wrong

Broncos at Raiders - RAIDERS - wrong

7-8 for week 1

 

[VF21]

Washington at New York Giants - GIANTS - right

Tampa Bay at New Orleans – SAINTS - right

St. Louis at Philadelphia – EAGLES - right

NY Jets at Miami – JETS - right

Kansas City at New England – PATRIOTS - right

Houston at Pittsburgh – STEELERS - right

Cincinnati at Baltimore – RAVENS - right

Detroit at Atlanta – LIONS - wrong

Seattle at Buffalo – SEAHAWKS - wrong

Jacksonville at Tennessee – JAGUARS - wrong

Dallas at Cleveland – COWBOYS - right

Carolina at San Diego – CHARGERS - wrong

Arizona at San Francisco – 49ERS - wrong

Chicago at Indianapolis - COLTS - wrong

Minnesota at Green Bay – VIKINGS - wrong

Denver at Oakland - RAIDERS - wrong

8-8 for week 1.

 

[VF21]

Week 2
Bears at Panthers - Panthers roam the jungles while bears are more comfortable in the forests. Maneuverability might just be a problem for the ursine crew. PANTHERS - right

Packers at Lions - The noble feline on his own turf could make things very difficult for the guys from Green Bay. LIONS - wrong

Bills at Jaguars - And again, a quick and clever carnivorous feline on his home turf is nothing to take for granted. JAGUARS - wrong

Raiders at Chiefs - This could be a very interesting challenge. The Chiefs get the nod simply because of the home advantage. CHIEFS - wrong

Giants at Rams - The big guys travel to St. Louis and still end up with a nice dinner. Rack of lamb anyone? GIANTS - right

Colts at Vikings - Poor little horsies. So much promise but it's cold in the home of the Vikings and they know where all the ice caves and false snow bridges may be found. VIKINGS - wrong

Titans at Bengals - Still another ferocious feline, and one who is known to be a maneater. The nod has to go to the noble Bengal. BENGALS - wrong

Saints at Redskins - Another situation where the home advantage gives the edge to the guys with the tomahawks. REDSKINS - right

49ers at Seahawks - The lads from California may have their sourdough bread and their mining equipment but the wily sea bird has his home advantage. SEAHAWKS - wrong

Falcons at Buccaneers - Nasty guys with muskets and cutlasses should make short shrift of the visiting birds, even if it is a bird of prey. BUCCANEERS - right

Chargers at Broncos - While the noble steed of days of yore would normally get the nod, when he has to face his wild cousin at elevation things could change drastically. BRONCOS - right

Patriots at Jets - Up, up and away! The nod has to go to the guys in the planes with missiles and guns. JETS - wrong

Dolphins at Cardinals - Arizona is hot and dry. Dolphins like neither. CARDINALS - right

Steelers at Browns - On the road or not, when you've got guys used to bending molten metals to their will, those guys have to have the edge. STEELERS - right

Eagles at Cowboys - Cowboys have guns, lassos and should be able to defend their prairie against the invader from the sky. COWBOYS - right

Ravens at Texans - Postponed until Nov. 5

Week 2 total: 8-7
Season total: 15-15

 

[VF21]

SUN, SEP 14
Oakland at Kansas City – Raiders and Chiefs? Hmmm. I took the pirates last week for reasons unknown or reasons I can’t remember. I’m going to take the guys with the long bows this week just because I think the weapons they have at their disposal should be of more of advantage, if the pirates’ ship with the cannons can’t make it inland. CHIEFS - wrong

Green Bay at Detroit – Packers and Lions? – Feels like dudes who can put something in a can going up against something that has a carcass that can be put in a can should be a slam dunk pick. PACKERS - right

Tennessee at Cincinnati – Titans and Bengals? The Harry Hamlins will be traveling to face a feisty jungle cat in its lair. I don’t know if this is who he clashed with or if he did if he was successful, I’m going to deviate from a formula that will become consistent the rest of the way (if that made sense – it does to me because I’m not writing this sequentially ) so I may stick with my decision to go with the home cat to stay consistent at least since they aren’t playing somebody who can pack or can them. Unless I missed that part of the movie…it’s been a while since I’ve seen it….BENGALS - wrong

Chicago at Carolina – Bears and Panthers? Bears are bigger, much more imposing but Panthers can run fast, jump and otherwise be nimble. I’m applying the speed co-efficient in this matchup and given the nod to the animal that can beat you to the punch (or outrun your punch). Played in its um…native Carolina habitat…gotta go with the home mascot. PANTHERS - right

Buffalo at Jacksonville – Bills and Jaguars? Yaguara was a little disappointing to me last week, something I rarely said last season. Me and Yaguara seemed to be simpatico and at one. Against the buffadudes, I think they are formidable regardless of which way the buffadudes morph in this matchup. Sure, the gun could work to the Bill’s advantage if they morph into the wild west gunslinger. But since Yaguara is home, like the other cat this week, I’m going that direction. JAGUARS - wrong

New Orleans at Washington – Saints and Redskins? – Miracle men and indigenous folk. Hmmm….this one’s tough. I think the miracle men are a step closer to making something happen than someone who may need to call upon the One who can make something happen. Call it degree of separation for intervention co-efficient. This is a new calculation, so stay tuned on this one. SAINTS - wrong

Indianapolis at Minnesota – Colts and Vikings? The horsies with the lucky shoes sure weren’t lucky last week even with the big ol’ horseshoe on their ground there to help them out. Weird. That was money last season. I think they should be able to get over on the Norsemen this week regardless, because the collective power of the shoes they carry with them should be enough unless they let the Viking pillage them. I’m sure the cannon thing should factor in there, but I’m still stuck on the power of the shoe, so I’m going to go with that feeling. COLTS - right

NY Giants at St. Louis – Giants and Rams? Man. On the size co-efficient alone I should take the big dudes. I can’t think of a reason why big folks would get beaten by a docile herbivore…I just cant. GIANTS - right

San Francisco at Seattle – 49ers and Seahawks? I think last year that I took Skua to run off with the sourdough rounds just because they can. This is second bandit bird that goldie will face in a row, and given the masked bird’s success last week, I think the trend continues. SEAHAWKS - wrong

Atlanta at Tampa Bay – Falcons and Buccanneers? Weird how I completely underestimated the baaaaaaaaaaaad bird falcons after confessing to still have my fascination with their badness as birds go. But the pirates from the bay of Tampa are hard on birds. I’m going to go with the baaaaaaaaaaaad birds here in my weekly reasons unknown pick. I’m taking the horsies over a pirate, so why not a bird while I’m at it? FALCONS - wrong

Miami at Arizona – Dolphins and Cardinals? Well, you know. I misunderestimated the bandity birds last week and it bit me in the proverbial. I gotta think that Flipper, hecka cute as he may be, heading to the desert can’t give him an advantage. CARDINAL - right

New England at NY Jets - Patriots and Jets? Hmmmm, I’m sure if I think long enough, I could come up with an important battle that took place in New York (by way of New Jersey) during the Revolution. Not sure I can come up with one that involved a plane. I remember having this anachronistic issue come up last year. But um…this kinda gave me pause…http://www.americanrevolution.com/BattleforNewYork.htm
Seems like the revolutionaries could have a flashback…JETS - wrong

San Diego at Denver – Chargers and Broncos? Hmmmmm…..a horse that’s jumpy anyway, facing bolts of lightning (with the requisite thunder with it?) that might make the horse crazier jumpy to where it could go jack crazy on you or run off. It’s more familiar with the terrain in this matchup so it might be bolder, but it’s natural jumpiness makes it unpredictable so I’m going to just have to go with the gut here. CHARGERS - wrong

Pittsburgh at Cleveland – Steelers and Browns? Brown didn’t do for me last week…and I use “me” in the royal sense since I picked them not to do for me last week. I think they may continue to not do for me because the dudes with hot molten stuff have to still have an advantage. They can emit enough heat to melt not only everything on Brown’s truck, but BROWN’S TRUCK ITSELF. STEELERS - right

MON, SEP 15
Philadelphia at Dallas - Eagles and Cowboys? Now last year I reckoned that the Eagle can’t be shot because it’s protected. I also raised the specter last week that these cowboys could very well be rogue and thus don’t care. COWBOYS - right

Week 2 total: 7-8
Season total: 15-16

 

[VF21]

SUN, SEP 21
Kansas City at Atlanta - Chiefs and Falcons? Well, I believe last season, I went with the bird in matchups against the indigenous people. Why you ask? On the theory that the bird has some reverence. (oh….and falcons are baaaaaaaaaaaaad birds) FALCONS - right

Oakland at Buffalo – Raiders and Bills? The buffadudes have made my analysis difficult. I’m not in tune with how the roll, eh..morph. I think the wild west dude could take a pirate, if the pirate only had the ship’s cannon as his weapon of choice. I think the rifle is a slightly better weapon to work with, much less wieldy. And if it’s the buffalo this week? Even as big as this animal is, I think it could outrun a cannon ball shot its direction. BILLS - right

Tampa Bay at Chicago – Buccaneers and Bears? Okeee, to stay with the thinking, I’m going to figure that the pirate animal matchup favors the animal. I see nothing about the bay of Tampa pirates having any special powers their breatheren have had. BEARS - wrong

Houston at Tennessee – Texans and Titans? - I misread the Harry Hamlins last week. They clearly had experience clashing with Bengal tigers. Good to know…Now we’re at a different mammal of the Texan variety. I’m going to give the nod, perhaps against better judgment to the dudes with the guns. Just because I don’t remember Harry Hamlin having one, just the owl sticks out in my mind. TEXANS - wrong

Cincinnati at NY Giants – Bengals and Giants? Well, I thought the tigers would get over on the Harry Hamlins. I was clearly wrong there. I think they may struggle with the big dudes too, since well, they’re bigger than the Harry Hamlins. Size matters. GIANTS - right

Carolina at Minnesota – Panthers and Vikings? Hmmmm. The Panther has been an iffy read for me, but I’m going to stick with the philosophy above and take the animal over the pirate. PANTHERS - wrong

Miami at New England – Dolphins and Patriots? Missed the boat so to speak on the anachronistic issue with the revolutionary and the airplane. Flipper, though hecka cute, is going up against a guy with a gun. That’s never good. PATRIOTS - wrong

Arizona at Washington – Cardinals and Redskins? – This is a small bird, going up against indigenous people who may or may not have weapons. Oh I dunno, this may be my one pick which has no apparent rhyme or reason. CARDINALS - right

St. Louis at Seattle – Rams and Seahawks? Skua seems a lost less intimidating this season. Not sure why that is. Normally I think I lean skua because skua is a big bird and has some pirate going for it. I’m not sure the docile herbivore can do much with skua. In fact I reckon in some pacific northwest legend, skua picked up a ram and carried it some place for um..some reason which will make sense if you read the legend. SEAHAWKS - right

Detroit at San Francisco – Lions and 49ers? I am clearly out of sync with goldie. But I think I have this one nailed. The birds have been hit or miss with the efficacy of using the sourdough rounds as a lure or distraction. Lions are up the food chain certainly, but may have a different level of craftiness than the bandity birds or skua, or be somewhere in between in terms of personality. I think the rounds can perfectly misdirect a lion. 49ERS - right

New Orleans at Denver – Saints and Broncos? Not sure what to think of this one. What edge would a horse have over miracle men? Mile-highness? But isn’t the miracle man higher? This is a toughie. I’m going to give the nod to the horsie simply because the mile-highness is harder to adjust to and the horse has obviously adapted. BRONCOS - right

Jacksonville at Indianapolis – Jaquars and Colts? I’m shaking my head on this one two. I thought I had Yaguara pegged. But I’m feeling like the young horses with all the extra horseshoes should maintain their edge. COLTS - wrong

Cleveland at Baltimore – Browns and Ravens? Gosh. Still not sure what brown does for me, so figuring out what brown does for me against the big talking bird. I’m going to take the bird, they can get to and from destinations faster. RAVENS - right

Pittsburgh at Philadelphia – Steelers and Eagles? Icarus comes to mind here, dunno why since the noble bird’s wings are actually not affixed to its body by wax, thus heat shouldn’t be an issue. But should I consider birds which end up roasted on a spit, because flesh – feathered or not, isn’t good against heat regardless. That might be an overthought sidenote. Let me go with the bird here, simply because the Icarus angle clearly was a red herring. EAGLES - right

Dallas at Green Bay – Cowboys and Packers? I think I’m on a roll with these two mascots, let see if I stay that way. Dudes without guns against dudes with guns (and dudes with guns who may or may not be rogue). I’m gonna say, dudes with guns win out…weapon co-efficient. COWBOYS - right

MON, SEP 22
NY Jets at San Diego – Jets and Chargers? Can planes fly in inclement weather? I guess so, although it seems scary, the turbulence especially. I think take off and landing are iffy as I recall from many a flight delay. I’m going energy here. CHARGERS - right

Week 3 total: 11-5
Season total: 26-21

 

[VF21]

Week 4:

Falcons at Panthers - Feisty birds just shouldn't win on the big cat's home turf. PANTHERS - right

Browns at Bengals - The guys who deliver the packages are good but I can't see them doing very well trying to battle their way through the Bengals home defenses. BENGALS - wrong

Texans at Jaguars - The difference between this matchup and the previous two is pretty simple. Falcons and Browns don't have guns. Texans do. And guns reach further than claws and teeth. TEXANS - wrong

Vikings at Titans - I'm still confused about the Titans. Are they the missiles? Are they the big guys? Are they, as my cohort has suggested, Harry Hamlin's "posse"? Regardless, I just don't think they'll walk away from an encounter with the marauding Vikings without knowing they've been in a fight. VIKINGS - wrong

Broncos at Chiefs - The equine from the plains is faster and more agile. BRONCOS - wrong

49ers at Saints - Once again, there is no logic or rhyme or reason necessarily associated with my pick. I don't ever pick against my 49ers. NINERS - wrong

Cardinals at Jets - Red birds can fly but supersonic planes fly higher and faster. JETS - right

Packers at Buccaneers - The home nod goes to the guys who buckle their swashes. BUCCANEERS - right

Chargers at Raiders - Noble steeds may have a tough time against the nasty pirates but there's so much confusion in the home of the guys in silver and black the visitors have to get the nod. CHARGERS - right

Bills at Rams - Lamb stew anyone? BILLS - right

Redskins at Cowboys - In matches like these from olden days, the cowboys have all the advantages. COWBOYS - wrong

Eagles at Bears - A very tough match to call. Against all rationale, I think the ursine crew will take the flight away from our majestic bird and ground him. BEARS - right

Ravens at Steelers - The black bird will be once again quoting "nevermore" after trying to battle the men who work with molten lead on their home turf. STEELERS - right

Week 4 total: 7-6
Season total: 22-21

 

[VF21]

SUN, SEP 28
Green Bay at Tampa Bay – Packers and Buccaneers? Well, I think last season I took the guys with the packing equipment because of their advanced ability to store their own provisions for long trips and such. I think tho, since the pirates from the Bay of Tampa aren’t traveling that’s not as much an edge – BUCCANEERS - right

Houston at Jacksonville – Texans and Jaguars? One of these days me and my favorite mascot from last season yaguara will be on the same page. I think speed co-efficient is at work here, I like the idea that they’d be faster than dudes with six shooters. JAGUARS - right

Atlanta at Carolina – Falcons and Panthers? Have a had a cat/bird matchup this year? Doesn’t really matter because I’m leaning cat again in the matchup. Despite it being the baaaaaaaaaaaaad bird falcons in this pairing. PANTHERS - right

Arizona at NY Jets – Cardinals and Jets? Hmmmm…bird on eh, “bird” here. The bandity birds have been a hard read. But their thievery could help them be deceptive enough to find a way to outwit (if that’s the appropriate word to use for a piece of machinery) a plane. I should pay attention to the speed coefficient that I invoked earlier, but I think the sneakiness implied by the mask on Cardinal’s face has to be something that gives it an edge. CARDINALS - wrong

San Francisco at New Orleans – Saints and 49ers? Well…shoot. The miracle men haven’t been very helpful to my prognosticating. But I’m going to guess that their ability to summon intervention, will help them beat goldie to the goal. They should know that goldie’s sourdough tricks are merely a rouse. SAINTS - right

Cleveland at Cincinnati – Browns and Bengals? Brown hasn’t done for me, not like I’ve expected brown to do for me anyway, but still..just pointing out something I’ve noticed. The big cat can outrun the truck or intimidate the driver enough with a big growl to get out of the seat and hand over the keys. BENGALS - wrong

Minnesota at Tennessee – Vikings and Titans? Oh boy, the Harry Hamlins again. It is probably time for me to give Harry some due respect, I think I’ve picked against him only to get burned. I have GOT to read that book or see the movie again soon. I vaguely remember a ship from the movie so I’m trusting that Harry and the owl got over whoever was on it in that particular clash. TITANS - right

Denver at Kansas City – Broncos and Chiefs? Okeee, the young bucking horse and the indigenous leader who may want to ride? I think the horsie could win since it’s wild and all. It’s too young to know any better or that it should get caught and rode. BRONCOS - wrong

San Diego at Oakland – Chargers and Raiders? Hmmmmmmm. Here’s where I’m going, this seemed to work with the plane matchup. Dudes on ships against a element from storms? Yeesh….not feeling this one for the pirates. CHARGERS - right

Buffalo at St. Louis – Bills and Rams? Well, this might be the easiest pick of the bunch. Docile herbivore and the buffadudes? I don’t care which way the buffadude morphs it seems no contest for the ram. Yikes. BILLS - right

Washington at Dallas – Redskins and Cowboys? More spaghetti westerns eh? I’m taking the rogue western dude in this one, their rogueness seems to be a factor thus far this season, hard to not account for it. COWBOYS - wrong

Philadelphia at Chicago – Eagles and Bears? Huh…Well, took the bears last week in a trend I was riding. THAT worked out well in the reasoning department. I’m going to figure that the noble bird has an edge here again with the speed factor and the talons and beak deal. If the Falcons were here I might go bird still for the same reason (plus the baaaaaaaaadness the falcon has going for it in my mind). EAGLES - wrong

MON, SEP 29
Baltimore at Pittsburgh – Ravens and Steelers? I took a bird against the hot molten stuff dudes last week. I sticking with it even tho different type of bird. I probably shouldn’t because I need to learn to let go of trends, but then again I might be onto to something that actually IS a trend and not one I just hope is one. RAVENS - wrong

Week 4 total: 7-6
Season total: 33-27

 

[VF21]

SUN, OCT 5
Kansas City at Carolina – Chiefs and Panthers? Well…I’ve got two indigenous people vs an animal matchups this weekend. Should I go the same way with them, different animals tho, or should I go with splitting them? I think I’m going with the reverence factor on both. PANTHERS - right

Tennessee at Baltimore – Titans and Ravens? Well, gosh. Harry Hamlins have the owl, but does owl trump big black talking bird? Weight, height and reach(aka wingspan) should favor big black bird, but am I missing something (as I confess to not having read the book or watched the movie still). RAVENS - wrong

San Diego at Miami – Chargers and Dolphins? – Hmmm, I like the force of energy against an animal. Like electric fences, the Chargers have the eh, power to corral the hecka cute marine animal. CHARGERS - wrong

Seattle at NY Giants – Seahawks and Giants? Big dudes against piratety bird. Skua is shifty and shifty can probably outwit and outmaneuver big dudes. But I’m going to lean on the side of size - GIANTS - right

Washington at Philadelphia – Redskins and Eagles? As with my other indigenous people animal matchup, I’m going reverence and taking the animal. I think too, picking this way last season was advantageous. EAGLES - wrong

Indianapolis at Houston – Colts and Texans? Alrighty, the horse shoes again. And the collection of them on the helmets, I remember this coming up in analysis before. Guns just don’t concern me in my thinking about who has the edge. COLTS - right

Atlanta at Green Bay – Falcons and Packers? Dudes with the ability to can meat products and things that have a carcass that can be canned? I think I called this before. PACKERS - wrong

Chicago at Detroit – Bears and Lions? I want to say that the lion is bigger and stronger, but what empirically tells me that’s the case. That doesn’t even seem anecdotal. But something leads me to believe the lion could roll a bear, especially in it’s den. LIONS - wrong

Tampa Bay at Denver – Buccaneers and Broncos? Pirates from the bay of Tampa are traveling the straights of Denver for this matchup. (Strike 1). Denver is purportedly, according to rumors – above sea level (Strike 2). Strike 3 swinging is trying to shoot a wild pony with a cannon. BRONCOS - wrong

Cincinnati at Dallas – Bengals and Cowboys? Jungle cat against (rogue) dudes with guns? I gotta go dudes with guns here rogue or not. COWBOYS - right

Buffalo at Arizona – Bills and Cardinals? The cute bird with the bandit mask let me down last week. I thought I was onto something. I’m not sure if the morphing buffadudes match up well either way, I think the bird can beat the buffalo, but the wild west guy is a trickier read. Dude has an edge I think. But this is a tiny bird, and it has a mask which screams edge to me for some reason. CARDINALS - right

New England at San Francisco – Patriots and 49ers? Historic dudes and goldie. I’m going with the revolutionaries under the thinking that without them perhaps goldie doesn’t exist. Sure, that’s a historical stretch. But chronology has to play a factor no? PATRIOTS - right

Pittsburgh at Jacksonville – Steelers and Jaguars? Hmmm. Yaguara and men with hot molten stuff, there are some birds which were immune to the heat. Methinks yaguara, coming from warmer climes, can equally be immune. JAGUARS - wrong

MON, OCT 6
Minnesota at New Orleans – Vikings and Saints? Saints and sinners (stretch alert) matchup should be easy. SAINTS - wrong

Week 5 total: 6-8
Season total: 39-35

 

[VF21]

Sometimes I REALLY hate dialup! I've been trying to get online for almost 30 minutes... BLECH!!!

Anyway, here are my picks for Week 5:

Bears @ Lions - When two formidable foes face off, it's usually about comparing weapons. Both these fierce beasts, however, have long claws and pretty nasty teeth. Since that's the case, the advantage has to go to the stronger of the two and bears are simply much stronger than lions. BEARS - right

Chargers @ Dolphins - No matter how impressive the noble steed, he cannot swim with all that armor. If the aquatic mammals don't let the horsie get close enough to shore to get a foothold, Flipper wins. DOLPHINS - right

Falcons @ Packers - A bird should never voluntarily fly into a situation where some of its kin can be stuffed into cans for consumption. Just not good sense. PACKERS - wrong

Seahawks @ Giants - This one could be tricky, but the wily seabird is going to have a lot of trouble on the Giants' home turf where they can put up nets, etc. to curtail the use of the air game. GIANTS - right

Titans @ Ravens - These birds, on the other hand, do have the advantage of being at home where they might bedevil the visitors and force them off cliffs or something. RAVENS - wrong

Colts @ Texans - Little horsies going into the home of guys with guns and lariats? That has possible disaster written all over it. The horsies may be doing well but the paper advantage has to go against them. TEXANS - wrong

Chiefs @ Panthers - The guy whose wearing the feather headdress will have his work cut out for him in trying to elude the wily feline. PANTHERS - right

Redskins @ Eagles - These plains warriors have a whole different problem. Eagle feathers were treasured because they are difficult to get, especially when trying to locate aeries. It just takes one misstep and it's all over. EAGLES - wrong

Buccaneers @ Broncos - The guys may have trouble buckling their swashes as they're trying to first locate and then battle the wild equine. Another case where the home turf advantage seems to tilt the battle. BRONCOS - right

Bengals @ Cowboys - Here Kitty, kitty, kitty! The striped feline could save himself a lot of stress and frustration by simply staying home. COWBOYS - right

Patriots @ 49ers - The reason people still pull for underdogs is because they do occasionally win. The 49ers, on their home turf, draw a lot of strength and support from their fans. (GO NINERS!!!) 49ers - wrong

Bills @ Cardinals - Red bird or guy in scarlet robe? Buffalo or guy who prances around in fringed clothing shooting at buffalos? Nothing but confusion here. Advantage to home. CARDINALS - right

Steelers @ Jaguars - Listen to the frightening roar of the hidden predator feline as it stalks the visiting guys whose molten metal doesn't do them any good at all here. JAGUARS - wrong

Vikings @ Saints - The Saints will come marching in, make short work of the Vikings and march back out. SAINTS - wrong

Week 5 total: 7-7
Season total: 29-28

 

[VF21]

SUN, OCT 12
Oakland at New Orleans – Raiders and Saints? Saints and sinners again for the second straight week? I think I was onto something with my analysis, just that the miracle men didn’t follow through. The pirates from the Bay of St. Francisco I think could struggle with the length of the trip around the isthmus of the land of Oak. SAINTS - right

Cincinnati at NY Jets – Bengals and Jets? I took the animal against a plane last time…yuck. I’m going with the planes again on the elevation and speed advantage. JETS - right

Chicago at Atlanta – Bears and Falcons? Eh, big baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad bird falcons got out of the packing plant. Can they escape a bear? I ‘spose they could. Since the bear has the same designs on the falcon’s carcass that the packing dudes did. I’m gonna lean the way of the bird this week as a result. Sure, falcon’s luck could have expired as of last week’s Houdini act…then again, perhaps not. FALCONS - right

Detroit at Minnesota – Lions and Vikings? Well…here’s where I reverse course. I think the pillaging Norse have a good shot of smacking the king of the jungle with something, might not be a cannon ball but it will be some weapon likely to stun the creature into submission. (note…this would be MBF trying to not trend too much with similar matchups, especially those in which she has been hosed in previous weeks) VIKINGS - right

St. Louis at Washington – Rams and Redskins? Indigenous peoples I’m sure were able to utilize the docile herbivore. Nothing changes here. REDSKINS - wrong

Carolina at Tampa Bay – Panthers and Buccaneers? Pirates hosting a big black cat? I just don’t see how the cannon and an animal with speed and the ability to climb cares all that much when the sound of the cannon hits it. It’ll be gone by the time the ball is anywhere near it. PANTHERS - wrong

Miami at Houston – Dolphins and Texans? Wow, watch this flip…er I have gone against the hecka cute marine animal almost all season. And have missed the boat each time I think. I *think* last season I felt that shooting at flipper in the water can’t possibly work. I’m going to stick with that theory. DOLPHINS - wrong

Baltimore at Indianapolis – Ravens and Colts? Well, the lil horsies have the shoes on their helmets still and goodness knows it has come in handy. COLTS - right

Jacksonville at Denver - Jaguars and Broncos? See? I want to go back to my Marlon Perkins days and seeing a hunting cat stick a paw into the hide of a range animal and take it down. Granted…those may have been bigger cats than Yaguara is, but it’s not out of the realm of possibility now is it? Nope. JAGUARS - right

Green Bay at Seattle – Packers and Seahawks? – BOY! Am I anti-packing dudes because I thought for SURE they would get over on a walking carcass near the packing plant just BEGGING to be canned. True, it twas my baaaaaaaaad bird falcons, but still. Skua is a sneaky bird and the packing dudes don’t stand a chance against a bird that sneaks since it sneaks so it won’t get canned. SEAHAWKS - wrong

Philadelphia at San Francisco – Eagles and 49ers? Uh oh…another bird for goldie. I’ve got to decide whether the defeat of skua or the loss to bird with the mask is the true sign of how the sourdough helps or hurts goldie. I think skua’s aaaaaaaaaalmost win tends to make it a safe bet that birds are goldie’s kryptonite. EAGLES - right

Dallas at Arizona – Cowboys and Cardinals? Sneaky birds and dudes with six-shooters and are rogue? I went against the mask when I should have gone with it, and gone with it when it got kilt. Something makes me lean bird again, perhaps it’s the mask. Or perhaps this is my “just because” pick. CARDINALS - right

New England at San Diego – Patriots and Chargers? Seems like, when this matchup has happened before, that I felt Ben Franklin had something to do with the outcome. I’m sticking with that feeling. PATRIOTS - wrong

MON, OCT 13
NY Giants at Cleveland – Giants and Browns? E….Z. Big dudes crush brown’s van. Am I right? GIANTS - wrong

Week 6 total: 8-6
Season: 47-41

 

[Monty'sBiggestFan]

Good Lord How Am I Above .500 On This?!?!?