Saw this discussion elsewhere, and it got me thinking:
I was raised in the north, but I was born in South Carolina, and had a decidedly "southern" upbringing. I was raised to always say "sir" and "ma'am" to my elders, be they family or strangers. My parents weren't the type to correct me if I didn't say sir or ma'am but, then again, my parents weren't exactly the most difficult people to read emotionally; it was real easy to tell whether it was okay to say "mom" or "dad," or whether "sir" or "ma'am" was the only appropriate response... If my mom was in a different room, or it was clear that I wasn't paying attention, it was "ma'am," without exception. If I had ****ed up somehow and she was chewing my *** out, it was "ma'am." If we were in the presence of other adults, "ma'am," most especially when in the presence of anyone older than my parents. Hell, my next door neighbors growing up practically treated us like their own grandchildren, and it was "sir/ma'am" with them (or Mr. and Mrs. Mell, God rest their souls).
It has been my observation that there is a significant cultural divide on this issue, and an even more significant racial divide. For example, members of my family and black friends whom were raised in the north tend to have been brought up to use it, whereas amongst those of my friends (as well as the people to whom I was formerly related by marriage) that are white and raised in the north, nearly none of them were raised to use it. I don't actually know any white people that were raised in the South, but I do notice when I go to visit my family in Georgia and South Carolina, it's a universal practice, regardless of race.
So my question unto you is in parts:
1) Were you raised to use sir/ma'am?
1a) If the answer to 1) was "yes," did you resent it?
1b) If the answer to 1) was "no," were you raised in the north or the south?
1c) Additionally, if the answer to 1) was "no," do you use "Mr./Mrs. lastname" in lieu of?
2) Do you still practice it today?
3) Is it practiced by your friends?
4) Do/would/did you raise your children to practice it?
5) How do you feel about being called sir/ma'am by people younger than you? Your age (or your age range, if you don't feel comfortable giving your age)?
For myself, the answers are:
1) Yes
1a) No
2) Yes
3) Yes
4) Yes
5) I don't insist on it, and I'd rather be referred to by Mr. Slim by anybody whom I don't know, but I much prefer "sir" to my first name by strangers. I've never cared for people whom don't know me well referring to me by my first name. For me, it's not a respect thing, though; it's more of a "You don't know me like that" thing. Thirty-two.
I was raised in the north, but I was born in South Carolina, and had a decidedly "southern" upbringing. I was raised to always say "sir" and "ma'am" to my elders, be they family or strangers. My parents weren't the type to correct me if I didn't say sir or ma'am but, then again, my parents weren't exactly the most difficult people to read emotionally; it was real easy to tell whether it was okay to say "mom" or "dad," or whether "sir" or "ma'am" was the only appropriate response... If my mom was in a different room, or it was clear that I wasn't paying attention, it was "ma'am," without exception. If I had ****ed up somehow and she was chewing my *** out, it was "ma'am." If we were in the presence of other adults, "ma'am," most especially when in the presence of anyone older than my parents. Hell, my next door neighbors growing up practically treated us like their own grandchildren, and it was "sir/ma'am" with them (or Mr. and Mrs. Mell, God rest their souls).
It has been my observation that there is a significant cultural divide on this issue, and an even more significant racial divide. For example, members of my family and black friends whom were raised in the north tend to have been brought up to use it, whereas amongst those of my friends (as well as the people to whom I was formerly related by marriage) that are white and raised in the north, nearly none of them were raised to use it. I don't actually know any white people that were raised in the South, but I do notice when I go to visit my family in Georgia and South Carolina, it's a universal practice, regardless of race.
So my question unto you is in parts:
1) Were you raised to use sir/ma'am?
1a) If the answer to 1) was "yes," did you resent it?
1b) If the answer to 1) was "no," were you raised in the north or the south?
1c) Additionally, if the answer to 1) was "no," do you use "Mr./Mrs. lastname" in lieu of?
2) Do you still practice it today?
3) Is it practiced by your friends?
4) Do/would/did you raise your children to practice it?
5) How do you feel about being called sir/ma'am by people younger than you? Your age (or your age range, if you don't feel comfortable giving your age)?
For myself, the answers are:
1) Yes
1a) No
2) Yes
3) Yes
4) Yes
5) I don't insist on it, and I'd rather be referred to by Mr. Slim by anybody whom I don't know, but I much prefer "sir" to my first name by strangers. I've never cared for people whom don't know me well referring to me by my first name. For me, it's not a respect thing, though; it's more of a "You don't know me like that" thing. Thirty-two.
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